Crap Joke No.83840370

Other non Stranglers stuff here

Moderator: StanInBlack

Post Reply
droopsnoot
ManinBlack
ManinBlack
Posts: 3423
Joined: 27 Jan 2004, 17:28
Location: Cheshire

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

An old Wild West fort is about to be attacked. The wily old general sends for his trusty Indian scout. "You must use all your thirty years of skill in trying to estimate the sort of army we are up against here."

The trusty Indian scout lies down and puts his ear to the ground. "Heap large war party," he says, "maybe three hundred braves, four chiefs, two on black stallions, two on white stallions. All have war paint. Many many guns. Medicine man also with them."

"Good grief!" exclaims the general. "You can tell all of that just by listening to the ground?"

"No," replies the Indian, "I can see under the gate."
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall
jason
Man Of The Earth
Man Of The Earth
Posts: 8415
Joined: 02 Oct 2008, 15:34
Location: Kent

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason »

How did everyone get on with the Grand National yesterday? I lost my money on my two bets. Some bloke down the pub told me to go for Landfill but that was a rubbish tip! I also went for Loose Button but it came off at the last! I wish I'd gone for Dusty Rug who's never been beaten and Creasoat who's great over the fences! Polo neck is a great Jumper as well! :grin:
User avatar
MiB81
Ugly
Ugly
Posts: 1950
Joined: 05 Jun 2012, 11:44
Location: Moving like a coin in the air
Contact:

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by MiB81 »

Xmas crackers, in April? Extraordinary.
...I'm making lists of all the people I love,
and all the cunts that should fuck off...
jason
Man Of The Earth
Man Of The Earth
Posts: 8415
Joined: 02 Oct 2008, 15:34
Location: Kent

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason »

MiB81 wrote: 10 Apr 2022, 10:46 Xmas crackers, in April? Extraordinary.
I forgot to pull them at Xmas! :grin:
droopsnoot
ManinBlack
ManinBlack
Posts: 3423
Joined: 27 Jan 2004, 17:28
Location: Cheshire

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

I was at a bar last night and saw this fat chick wearing a shirt that said, "Caution, I'm a maneater". I walked up to the girl and timidly said, "Excuse me, Miss...about your shirt."

She interrupted me before I could continue and furiously shouted, "Oh let me guess, you're here to make a comment about how I'm so fat and how I actually eat men. I can't help my weight you know. I have feelings too and your comments can really hurt."

I looked at her, confused and said, "That's actually not what I was going to say at all."

"Oh…" she replied as a smile started to come across her face. "What were you going to say?"

"That's not how you spell manatee."
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall
HOFT
The Man They Love To Hate
Posts: 958
Joined: 23 Aug 2007, 15:04
Location: USA

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by HOFT »

:smt006

Today was Palm Sunday !

Which hand did you use to rub one off ?

:twisted:
May the flies of 1000 camels nest in your armpits !

If you want SYMPATHY ?..........
You will find it in the dictionary between ` SHIT & SYPHILIS ' !
droopsnoot
ManinBlack
ManinBlack
Posts: 3423
Joined: 27 Jan 2004, 17:28
Location: Cheshire

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?

Hailing taxis.
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall
droopsnoot
ManinBlack
ManinBlack
Posts: 3423
Joined: 27 Jan 2004, 17:28
Location: Cheshire

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

I've just been nominated for the worlds most secretive person!!

I can't tell you what this means to me.
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall
User avatar
MiB81
Ugly
Ugly
Posts: 1950
Joined: 05 Jun 2012, 11:44
Location: Moving like a coin in the air
Contact:

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by MiB81 »

droopsnoot wrote: 22 Apr 2022, 09:39 I've just been nominated for the worlds most secretive person!!

I can't tell you what this means to me.
The thesaurus I ordered from Amazon has just arrived, and all the pages are blank. :shock:
I've no words to tell you just how angry I am.
...I'm making lists of all the people I love,
and all the cunts that should fuck off...
droopsnoot
ManinBlack
ManinBlack
Posts: 3423
Joined: 27 Jan 2004, 17:28
Location: Cheshire

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.

We now call him Dr. Awkward.
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall
HOFT
The Man They Love To Hate
Posts: 958
Joined: 23 Aug 2007, 15:04
Location: USA

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by HOFT »

.
.
What does the garlic do when it gets too hot ?
.
.
.

Takes its cloves off !
.
May the flies of 1000 camels nest in your armpits !

If you want SYMPATHY ?..........
You will find it in the dictionary between ` SHIT & SYPHILIS ' !
HOFT
The Man They Love To Hate
Posts: 958
Joined: 23 Aug 2007, 15:04
Location: USA

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by HOFT »

:smt006

You know that it is important to keep your sex toys clean ?
.
.
.
That is why priests came up with baptisms !
.
.
.
May the flies of 1000 camels nest in your armpits !

If you want SYMPATHY ?..........
You will find it in the dictionary between ` SHIT & SYPHILIS ' !
Post Reply