Crap Joke No.83840370

[MiB81]

I finally managed to sell my Sooty and Sweep puppets.
This guy gave me £50 to take them off my hands.

[droopsnoot]

RIP Lester Piggott

His funeral is next Wednesday at 20/1

[droopsnoot]

My friend David had his ID stolen...

Now he’s just Dav.

[HOFT]

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Thank you for your order from our sex shoppe.
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You asked for the large red dildo as featured on our wall.
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Please select another product, that is our Fire Extinguisher !
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[droopsnoot]

I recently entered a competition to see who had gained the most weight and lost the most hair.

Obviously, it wasn’t called that, it was advertised as a 'School Reunion'.

[PJayBe]

Before I die I am going to eat a full bag of unpopped popcorn.

Should make the cremation interesting.

[PJayBe]

I understand that they are going to start naming heatwaves in the same way they name storms. The next one will be named Tarka because it's just like the last one but 'otter.....

[droopsnoot]

Dick Dastardly's dog was poorly, so he borrowed another one

It wasn't exactly the same

But it was a proxy Muttley

[droopsnoot]

I've started a new carpenter's course.

We haven't made anything yet, we've only just begun.