Crap Joke No.83840370

[droopsnoot]

A weasel walks into a bar.

The barman says, "That's amazing, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?"

"Pop" goes the weasel.

[Summer Dreamer]

A man is out driving in his new car, when he spots a very attractive young woman at the side of the road, hitch-hiking.

So he pulls over and offers her a lift; she accepts and sits next to him in the passenger seat.

They set off and after a while he asks "What do you do for a living?".

"I'm a magician..." she replies.

"Have you any favourite tricks?"

"Well, I can touch a man and make him turn into something completely different..."

And after that she put her hand on his knee and he turned into a layby.

[jason]

My wife is furious with me. She asked me to make a bird table and she didn't quite make into my top 20!

[droopsnoot]

Just confessed to the missus that I’ve always had a bit of a thing for Beyoncé.

“Whatever floats your boat”. She said.

“No” I said, “that’s buoyancy”.

[HOFT]

You know that locking your keys in your car is alot like ending a pregnancy ?
.
.
.
If a coat hanger doesn't work, use a crowbar !

[jetblacksdad]

Jesus man!!!

[PJayBe]

When I heard scientists had a cure for dyslexia it was music to my arse.

[kjblack]

My wife is furious with me. She asked me to make a bird table and she didn't quite make into my top 20!

[PJayBe]

Boris Johnson is now a spokesperson for Trans World Airlines. In fact, he is happy to say that he is a Trans World Airlines Traveller.

[airflamesred]

When I heard scientists had a cure for dyslexia it was music to my arse.

[droopsnoot]

People often don't understand the difference between wound and injury.

A wound is damage to living tissue caused by a cut, blow, or other impact, typically one in which the skin is cut or broken.

Whereas injury played with The Blockheads.

[jason]

I've just parked my car the wrong way around at a car boot sale and sold my engine!