Crap Joke No.83840370

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droopsnoot
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

A weasel walks into a bar.

The barman says, "That's amazing, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?"

"Pop" goes the weasel.
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Summer Dreamer
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Summer Dreamer »

A man is out driving in his new car, when he spots a very attractive young woman at the side of the road, hitch-hiking.

So he pulls over and offers her a lift; she accepts and sits next to him in the passenger seat.

They set off and after a while he asks "What do you do for a living?".

"I'm a magician..." she replies.

"Have you any favourite tricks?"

"Well, I can touch a man and make him turn into something completely different..."

And after that she put her hand on his knee and he turned into a layby.
'Scaffolding pays good bread'
jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason »

My wife is furious with me. She asked me to make a bird table and she didn't quite make into my top 20!
droopsnoot
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

Just confessed to the missus that I’ve always had a bit of a thing for Beyoncé.

“Whatever floats your boat”. She said.

“No” I said, “that’s buoyancy”.
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HOFT
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by HOFT »

You know that locking your keys in your car is alot like ending a pregnancy ?
.
.
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If a coat hanger doesn't work, use a crowbar !

:shock:
May the flies of 1000 camels nest in your armpits !

If you want SYMPATHY ?..........
You will find it in the dictionary between ` SHIT & SYPHILIS ' !
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jetblacksdad
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jetblacksdad »

Jesus man!!! :roll:
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PJayBe
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by PJayBe »

When I heard scientists had a cure for dyslexia it was music to my arse.
kjblack
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by kjblack »

jason wrote: 11 May 2022, 18:07 My wife is furious with me. She asked me to make a bird table and she didn't quite make into my top 20!
:smt005
PJayBe
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by PJayBe »

Boris Johnson is now a spokesperson for Trans World Airlines. In fact, he is happy to say that he is a Trans World Airlines Traveller.
airflamesred
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by airflamesred »

PJayBe wrote: 12 May 2022, 17:28 When I heard scientists had a cure for dyslexia it was music to my arse.
:lol: :lol:
droopsnoot
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

People often don't understand the difference between wound and injury.

A wound is damage to living tissue caused by a cut, blow, or other impact, typically one in which the skin is cut or broken.

Whereas injury played with The Blockheads.
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jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason »

I've just parked my car the wrong way around at a car boot sale and sold my engine! :shock:
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