Crap Joke No.83840370
Moderator: StanInBlack
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
I saw on the news that an ostrich, an emu, a turkey, and a penguin were arrested for murder. However they were released on bail...apparently they weren't considered a flight risk.
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
I keep randomly shouting out ‘broccoli’ and ‘cauliflower’ — I think I might have florets.
I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don’t pay it back I’m getting repossessed.
I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don’t pay it back I’m getting repossessed.
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droopsnoot
- ManinBlack
- Posts: 3588
- Joined: 27 Jan 2004, 17:28
- Location: Cheshire
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
A friend of mine is really struggling at the moment and asked if she could come round and colour in my tattoos.
I think she just wants a shoulder to crayon.
I think she just wants a shoulder to crayon.
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall
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droopsnoot
- ManinBlack
- Posts: 3588
- Joined: 27 Jan 2004, 17:28
- Location: Cheshire
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
I told my neighbour a few days ago that I was having a tattoo this week. He said he was really looking forward to seeing it.
He then had the nerve to come round today complaining about the noise of the bagpipes.
He then had the nerve to come round today complaining about the noise of the bagpipes.
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall
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droopsnoot
- ManinBlack
- Posts: 3588
- Joined: 27 Jan 2004, 17:28
- Location: Cheshire
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
I bought an original Van Gogh coffee table
I know it’s authentic because it has a bit of veneer missing.
I know it’s authentic because it has a bit of veneer missing.
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall
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Summer Dreamer
- VERSATRAN SERIES F
- Posts: 246
- Joined: 24 Mar 2011, 16:35
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
"My new dog is magic..."
"What breed?"
"He's a labracadabrador..."
"What breed?"
"He's a labracadabrador..."
'Scaffolding pays good bread'
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
A grandfather has gone missing after eating four cans of baked beans, two cabbages and a jar of gherkins. His family have made an emotional appeal for him not to come home for at least a fortnight.
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
My wife was nagging me while we had our 3 course meal tonight. She reckons I'm obsessed with Hugh and the Stranglers. She nearly ruined my 3 course meal of Snapper starter, Lasagna main course and Peaches for dessert! 
Boom Boom!!!
Boom Boom!!!-
jetblacksdad
- Ugly
- Posts: 1683
- Joined: 30 Jun 2008, 12:56
- Location: Here and there
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
Is it true that she nearly kicked you out when you suggested "Let's Mango in Paris"?jason wrote: 14 Oct 2024, 22:32 My wife was nagging me while we had our 3 course meal tonight. She reckons I'm obsessed with Hugh and the Stranglers. She nearly ruined my 3 course meal of Snapper starter, Lasagna main course and Peaches for dessert!
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theraven1979
- Maninwhite
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- Location: Saltaire
- Contact:
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
The dessert menu is often followed with coffees.....and Nice biscuits.
Jim
Jim
"I bathed in sun and walked in rain
It taught me how to laugh again"
It taught me how to laugh again"
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
Yep she said why don't you Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up up don't yer!!!!jetblacksdad wrote: 16 Oct 2024, 07:09Is it true that she nearly kicked you out when you suggested "Let's Mango in Paris"?jason wrote: 14 Oct 2024, 22:32 My wife was nagging me while we had our 3 course meal tonight. She reckons I'm obsessed with Hugh and the Stranglers. She nearly ruined my 3 course meal of Snapper starter, Lasagna main course and Peaches for dessert!
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
Yes and then washed down with lots of Water and Ice!!!!theraven1979 wrote: 16 Oct 2024, 08:32 The dessert menu is often followed with coffees.....and Nice biscuits.
Jim