Crap Joke No.83840370

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droopsnoot
ManinBlack
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

Three little pigs walked into a restaurant and were seated at a table. After a few minutes looking at the menu, they decided to start with some appetizers. The waiter asked the pigs what they’ll have.

"I'll start with some chips and salsa," the first pig replied.
"I will begin with some mozzarella sticks," the second pig said.
"Water, lots and lots of water," the third pig replied.

They got their appetizers and begin digging in. Before long they decided to order their main dishes & called the waiter over. He asked the pigs what they wanted.

"Hmmm...I'll have a double cheeseburger, no onions," replied the first pig.
"I will have a dish of macaroni and cheese," said the second pig.
"Water, lots and lots of water," the third pig replied.

The pigs got their food, devoured it all, decided they wanted dessert and flagged down the waiter. The waiter asked the pigs what they wanted for dessert.

"I'll have a slice of cheesecake," said the first pig.
"Gimme a bowl of soft serve chocolate ice cream," said the second pig.
"Water, lots and lots of water," replied the third pig.

They got their desserts along with the bill and the waiter asked the third pig, "Why did you only order water this evening?"

The third pig replied, "Well, one of us has to go wee wee wee all the way home and it’s my turn.”
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall
droopsnoot
ManinBlack
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudan, a Botswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian,
a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, A Channel Islander, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman,
an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Englishman, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian,
a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian,
an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian,
a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittsian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz,
a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger,
a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivian, a Malian, a Maltese, a Manxman, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican,
a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian,
an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese,
a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scot, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian,
a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan,
a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean
all go to a bar.

The doorman stops them and says:
"Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai."
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall
PJayBe
Down In The Sewer
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by PJayBe »

I was watching the rugby yesterday with subtitles on and thought the chap doing it had fallen asleep and landed head down on his keyboard. Then I realised it was the Welsh National Anthem.....
PJayBe
Down In The Sewer
Posts: 89
Joined: 01 Jan 2009, 23:51

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by PJayBe »

Just tried a new Mary Poppins themed restaurant.

Super cauliflower cheese, but the lobster was atrocious.....
jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason »

PJayBe wrote: 12 Feb 2024, 17:13 Just tried a new Mary Poppins themed restaurant.

Super cauliflower cheese, but the lobster was atrocious.....
Very good! :grin:
jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason »

My girlfriend is the absolute double of Kylie Minogue. Kylie is 8 stone and my Tracey is 16 Stone!
droopsnoot
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

For her birthday I bought my wife a fur coat made from 3000 hamster skins, and took her to Blackpool for a weekend. She went on the big wheel and I couldn't get her off it for two days.
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall
Summer Dreamer
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Summer Dreamer »

Did you see Andrew Lloyd Webber is writing a new musical about the life and times of Meghan Markle?

It's called "Superstar?! Jesus Christ!!"
'Scaffolding pays good bread'
PJayBe
Down In The Sewer
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Joined: 01 Jan 2009, 23:51

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by PJayBe »

I went out with a girl who was a medium. Said so in her vest.
User avatar
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Waffle waitress »

The Neighbour chapped my door and gave me a right fright this morning, he was pure raging because someone has been stealing his clothes off his washing line, I swear l nearly shat his pants
(all that's missing is the choker)

Liberez les Stranglers!
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