Crap Joke No.83840370

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theraven1979
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Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by theraven1979 »

Pruned the other thread


Jim
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It taught me how to laugh again"
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jetblacksdad »

A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly, the woman gathers courage to go ask him out. She walks over, takes a seat next to him, turns and says...
"Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure...but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing a Metallica t-shirt. They're my favorite band of all time. When they went on their And Justice For All tour, my parents took me to see them in Chicago. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Metallica."

The man can't believe it.

"I saw them play in Chicago too! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Mike and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the World Music Theater!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."

Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."

They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds,

*"It's a date!"*
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ThinkTank
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by ThinkTank »

I thought Jim said that all the dried fruit jokes was for the other thread :smile:
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason »

theraven1979 wrote: 08 Aug 2023, 10:10 Pruned the other thread


Jim
Ah no why? I used to like reading some of the old jokes? :? And yes I know there were some terrible ones in there!
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

jason wrote: 09 Aug 2023, 00:52 And yes I know there were some terrible ones in there!
I always thought that was the whole point of the thread, only terrible jokes allowed.
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by PJayBe »

The etymology of the word Boob.....

B - Top view

oo - Front View

b - Side view
jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason »

Did you hear about the dyslexic Japanese pilot during the war who flew all the way over here and tried to bomb Poole Harbour in Dorset?!!!
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Summer Dreamer »

Shame about the old jokes going, there were some good ones over the years. It was fun to have a look back through them every now and then...
Anyhow...

Why do blondes like BMW's?
Because they can spell it...
'Scaffolding pays good bread'
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason »

The old jokes have been Cancelled!!!!!
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Waffle waitress »

Summer Dreamer wrote: 16 Aug 2023, 20:27 Shame about the old jokes going, there were some good ones over the years. It was fun to have a look back through them every now and then...
Agreed, A good resource, I'd nick a few when required, usually droopsnoot 's. Not the same without his stream of excellent "Crap Jokes" now were on thread MK 2.
(all that's missing is the choker)

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jetblacksdad
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jetblacksdad »

My favourite



Whats the difference between a dwarf and a midget?



Very Little
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PJayBe
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by PJayBe »

Just been playing Beatle's Cluedo. Bloody rubbish. Every game it's Lucy, in the sky, with diamonds.....
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