Crap Joke No.83840370
Moderator: StanInBlack
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- The Raven
- Posts: 2991
- Joined: 27 Jan 2004, 17:28
- Location: Cheshire
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
I bought a map of the world. I pinned it to the wall and said to my wife “Here, throw this dart at it, wherever it lands, I’ll take you there once all this virus business is finished”.
Turns out we’re spending a fortnight behind the fridge.
Turns out we’re spending a fortnight behind the fridge.
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
I dreamt last night I was eating a giant sized marshmallow. I woke up and my pillow had disappeared! 

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- VERSATRAN SERIES F
- Posts: 247
- Joined: 24 Mar 2011, 16:35
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
Q: Which Shakespearean character (or Shakespearo) killed the greatest number of chickens?
A: Hamlet's uncle, for he did murder most foul.
(In homage to Bob Dylan's latest release).
A: Hamlet's uncle, for he did murder most foul.
(In homage to Bob Dylan's latest release).
Last edited by Summer Dreamer on 29 Mar 2020, 14:29, edited 1 time in total.
'Scaffolding pays good bread'
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
Thanx for the heads up

...I'm making lists of all the people I love,
and all the cunts that should fuck off...
and all the cunts that should fuck off...
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- The Raven
- Posts: 2991
- Joined: 27 Jan 2004, 17:28
- Location: Cheshire
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
In a similar fashion to the NHS appreciation the other night, tomorrow there will be a request for everyone to stand on their doorstep and give a clap for all the delivery drivers out there doing their bit.
The applause will take place any time between 6AM and 9PM.
The applause will take place any time between 6AM and 9PM.
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall
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- The Raven
- Posts: 2991
- Joined: 27 Jan 2004, 17:28
- Location: Cheshire
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
I was at the supermarket buying essential products earlier on, and I saw the remaining Chuckle Brother near the frozen food section.
I wanted to get a selfie with him, but as I approached him he put his arm out and said "Oi! Two metres, you."
I wanted to get a selfie with him, but as I approached him he put his arm out and said "Oi! Two metres, you."
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall
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- The Raven
- Posts: 2991
- Joined: 27 Jan 2004, 17:28
- Location: Cheshire
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
Janet Street Porter walks into a bar and says to the barman "could I have a large aperitif?"
The barman says "I wouldn’t have thought so love."
The barman says "I wouldn’t have thought so love."
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
Police in London have arrested a man they found on a swing in a children's
playground.
The man claimed he wasn't doing anything wrong, he just self-oscillating.
playground.
The man claimed he wasn't doing anything wrong, he just self-oscillating.
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- The Man They Love To Hate
- Posts: 586
- Joined: 06 Apr 2017, 22:36
- Location: Hammersmiff
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
For something to do whilst in lockdown my wife suggested I make a bird table. She's now totally pissed off with me as I only put in seventh place!!!!



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- The Man They Love To Hate
- Posts: 586
- Joined: 06 Apr 2017, 22:36
- Location: Hammersmiff
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
I tried to take my car for a service this morning but I couldn't get it through the church doors!