Crap Joke No.83840370

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MiB81
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by MiB81 » 30 Oct 2019, 00:43

I hate people who celebrate stuff too early; my neighbours
were letting off fireworks all last night, furfuxake,. My dog was
so scared it knocked over my Christmas tree.
...I'm making lists of all the people I love,
and all the cunts that should fuck off...

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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot » 03 Nov 2019, 19:19

I spent the afternoon at my wife's grave.

She still thinks it's going to be a fishpond.
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jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason » 03 Nov 2019, 22:53

MiB81 wrote:
30 Oct 2019, 00:43
I hate people who celebrate stuff too early; my neighbours
were letting off fireworks all last night, furfuxake,. My dog was
so scared it knocked over my Christmas tree.
I hope the tree didn't break your Easter eggs!

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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by PJayBe » 04 Nov 2019, 14:55

My wife once told me sex was better when she was on holidays...that wasn't a very nice postcard to get.

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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by MiB81 » 06 Nov 2019, 13:07

:lol:
droopsnoot wrote:
03 Nov 2019, 19:19
I spent the afternoon at my wife's grave.

She still thinks it's going to be a fishpond.
...I'm making lists of all the people I love,
and all the cunts that should fuck off...

jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason » 09 Nov 2019, 00:42

My missus hates it when I mess with her red wine.

I added some fruit and orange juice. Now she’s sangria than ever!

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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Summer Dreamer » 13 Nov 2019, 14:29

I visited the birthplace of the person who invented the electric toothbrush. I was surprised there was no plaque :grin:
'Scaffolding pays good bread'

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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by MiB81 » 13 Nov 2019, 19:15

Did you hear about the guy who ate a Xmas tree?


He farted a cracker. :smt111
...I'm making lists of all the people I love,
and all the cunts that should fuck off...

jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason » 13 Nov 2019, 20:20

I tried a pelican curry down the local Indian restaurant last night. Very tasty but the bill was enormous!

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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by zontar » 17 Nov 2019, 21:46

What did the polka fan say when he was out of beer? "Hey, this music sucks."

droopsnoot
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot » 25 Nov 2019, 11:36

I just met the manager of the Chinese restaurant where Toyah Willcox eats.

It's a Mr Wei.
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by sewer rat » 28 Nov 2019, 23:48

my mate's wife has just left him and she's taken the satellite dish and all his Bob Marley records. Poor cunt...no woman no sky.

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