Crap Joke No.83840370

[jason]

Walking down the street today, I slipped in some dog poo.
A minute later, a little old woman did the exact same.
I went up to her, slightly smiling, and said
"I just did that!"
She then punched me in the face and called me a dirty man!

[droopsnoot]

A woman walks into a Newcastle hairdresser's and asks "Can I have a perm please?"

"Aye, nee problem pet" says the hairdresser. "Ah wandered lernley as a clood....."

[jason]

I tried to take my car for a service this morning but I could not get it through the church doors!

[droopsnoot]

They told me I would never be good at poetry because of my dyslexia.

I've had the last laugh though. So far, I’ve made three jugs and a vase....

[droopsnoot]

What do you call a Frenchman in sandals?

Philippe Flop

[Summer Dreamer]

A friend was telling me about popular dog breeds these days, like the Cockapoo - a Cocker Spaniel / poodle cross - and the Labradoodle - a Labrador / Poodle cross.

I said I fancy getting a cross between a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu... but I'm not too sure what to call it...

[Red Eye Ray]

Was gonna go and see the new Queen film Bohemian Rhapsody the other day, but alas it wasn't to be! "THEY JUST WOULD NOT LET ME GO!"

[droopsnoot]

My mate went to the zoo and saw a baguette in one of the cages. He asked the zoo keeper what was going on and the keeper replied "It's bread in captivity".

[PJayBe]

I'm currently doing an assignment for my Latin course, and cannot for the life of me remember what the Roman numerals are for 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500. I'm livid.

[PJayBe]

Hello, You've called The Incontinence Hotline ....... Can you hold please??

[droopsnoot]

I phoned up my fruit machine manufacturer.

I said, "My fruit machine isn't working".

The lady said, "Can you hold?"

I said, "No, it won't even let me nudge".

[theraven1979]

Get out!!!

Jim

I'm currently doing an assignment for my Latin course, and cannot for the life of me remember what the Roman numerals are for 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500. I'm livid.