Crap Joke No.83840370

[Boody]

Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities was first serialised in two UK local newspapers.

It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times.

Well I got it and it gave me the best laugh I have had in a while. Thanks Droopsnoot.

[jason]

My uncle Bill always used to light up the room. Shame he's doing five years for arson now.

[Homer]

I hear Sinead 'O' Conner is doing Barry Chuckles remembrance service.

They've chosen 'Nothin Compares, To Me ..... To You'

[Bag Lady]

Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities was first serialised in two UK local newspapers.

It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times.

Well I got it and it gave me the best laugh I have had in a while. Thanks Droopsnoot.

Me too!

(Hi Boody )

[PJayBe]

The wife came in to the lounge wearing not very much whilst I was watching the Grand Prix.

"Fancy taking me upstairs and fucking me senseless?" She asks.

"Not just now." I reply. "I'm watching the motor racing."

"You do realise you can record it"

"Ok you grab the camcorder I'll be up when the Grand Prix has finished"

[PJayBe]

A tree house is the ultimate insult.

You're saying, "I killed a friend of yours, please hold him for me..."

[Arthur Streeb-Greebling]

My girlfriend is 124 years old, yep she’s so old her Pussy is haunted.

[PJayBe]

Most people have 206 bones in their body but I have nearly 300. Yes, kippers for breakfast again!

[PJayBe]

There's a Haircut 100 concert on Sky's Love channel at the moment.

If you've missed the start you can catch it on Love + 1

[MULLY]

I visited my local Health Centre complaining of feeling like a Jelly Baby.......

...the G.P. ate my face off

[Summer Dreamer]

One for the keyboardists out there...

Q. What could be better than having roses around your piano?

A. Having tulips around your organ.

[theraven1979]

The Burning Up Time taxi is arriving soon for some of you lot!

JIm