Well I got it and it gave me the best laugh I have had in a while. Thanks Droopsnoot.droopsnoot wrote:Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities was first serialised in two UK local newspapers.
It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times.
Crap Joke No.83840370
Moderator: StanInBlack
- Boody
- Ugly
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- Joined: 25 Jan 2014, 13:20
- Location: Arse end of commuter land, always looking for an escape
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
I can't help getting old. I just refuse to grow up.
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
My uncle Bill always used to light up the room. Shame he's doing five years for arson now.
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
I hear Sinead 'O' Conner is doing Barry Chuckles remembrance service.
They've chosen 'Nothin Compares, To Me ..... To You'
They've chosen 'Nothin Compares, To Me ..... To You'

Apple 2.4 ghz Intel 'core 2 duo' MacBook
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
The wife came in to the lounge wearing not very much whilst I was watching the Grand Prix.
"Fancy taking me upstairs and fucking me senseless?" She asks.
"Not just now." I reply. "I'm watching the motor racing."
"You do realise you can record it"
"Ok you grab the camcorder I'll be up when the Grand Prix has finished"
"Fancy taking me upstairs and fucking me senseless?" She asks.
"Not just now." I reply. "I'm watching the motor racing."
"You do realise you can record it"
"Ok you grab the camcorder I'll be up when the Grand Prix has finished"
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
A tree house is the ultimate insult.
You're saying, "I killed a friend of yours, please hold him for me..."
You're saying, "I killed a friend of yours, please hold him for me..."
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- Man Of The Earth
- Posts: 5373
- Joined: 25 Nov 2005, 01:00
- Location: Leeds, Yorkshire
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
My girlfriend is 124 years old, yep she’s so old her Pussy is haunted.
Just strap on your guitar and we'll play some rock 'n roll
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
Most people have 206 bones in their body but I have nearly 300. Yes, kippers for breakfast again!
Last edited by PJayBe on 19 Aug 2018, 12:46, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
There's a Haircut 100 concert on Sky's Love channel at the moment.
If you've missed the start you can catch it on Love + 1
If you've missed the start you can catch it on Love + 1
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
I visited my local Health Centre complaining of feeling like a Jelly Baby.......
...the G.P. ate my face off
...the G.P. ate my face off

Allow me to re-arrange your face, sometimes I'd really like to get to know you better
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- VERSATRAN SERIES F
- Posts: 170
- Joined: 24 Mar 2011, 16:35
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
One for the keyboardists out there...
Q. What could be better than having roses around your piano?
A. Having tulips around your organ.

Q. What could be better than having roses around your piano?
A. Having tulips around your organ.

Last edited by Summer Dreamer on 21 Aug 2018, 20:01, edited 1 time in total.
'Scaffolding pays good bread'
- theraven1979
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- Contact:
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
The Burning Up Time taxi is arriving soon for some of you lot!
JIm
JIm
"I bathed in sun and walked in rain
It taught me how to laugh again"
It taught me how to laugh again"