Google? I can't find Fuck All!

[Arthur Streeb-Greebling]

Why is it that when you do a search on the internet you can find almost any information in a matter of seconds but when someone asks you to search for something you can't find fuck all or it takes absobloodylutely forever? Im trying to find information on the Royal Engineers Regiment marching song 'Wings' and would also like to find the actual tune for my Dad. Anyone else have this problem? Im sure google is watching me!

It's also like my 3 Apple Mac computers, they all work flawlessly 24/7 but when someone comes around they start acting all funny.
Aaarrrrggh!!!!!!!