Crap Joke No.83840370

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theraven1979
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Post by theraven1979 »

This snail wants to buy a car:-

Snail: "Yeah I`ll take this one"
Salesman: "Cool"
Snail: "However, I`d like you to paint a big fuckin S on the bonnet, the back and the side panels"
Salesman: "Oh as in S for Snail?"
Snail: "No it's so that when I'm overtaking people on the motorway they'll see the S and say 'Look at that S Car Go"


Jim :oops:
"I bathed in sun and walked in rain
It taught me how to laugh again"
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Post by Alias »

theraven1979 wrote: Jim :oops:
Hang that head!
Trading Places, 1983 I believe.
And that joke was lame enough to win the Special Olympics back then too!
I'm a comedian and poet, so anything that doesn't get a laugh is a poem. B.Hicks.

"Further modulation of the frequency rotation, Triggered waveband activation - near elation"

'Why are you so edgy, kid ?'
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Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by ria »

That is a Crape Joke but no fiction : catch it in the news today :oops:

I translate for you the title and 1 essential sentence but as for the rest of the article sure you'll find it in your own news and anyway learn some French and "Do the dog" ! :lol:

QUOTE

"Les Britanniques rêvent à la gamelle de leur chien"
The British have a fancy for their dog's bowl

LONDRES (Reuters) - En Grande-Bretagne, la plupart des chiens mangent plus sainement que leurs maîtres, révèle une étude publiée mercredi.

Quelque 18% des 1.337 propriétaires d'animaux interrogés offrent à leurs amis à quatre pattes des petits plats frais.

Du coup, 21% des chiens apprécient le fromage, 15% ont droit à du poisson et 9% à des légumes.

Plus du quart des personnes sondées avouent qu'elles se satisferaient de la gamelle de leurs compagnons :
-> "1/4 of the people polled admit they will be satisfied with what there's in their pet's bowl."

Mais ce régime de faveur a un prix: les Britanniques dépensent 2,3 milliards de livres (3,4 milliards d'euros) par an pour l'alimentation de leurs chiens, selon l'étude menée pour l'assureur Direct Line. Et 10% d'entre eux reconnaissent que leur animal a un problème de poids.
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theraven1979
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Post by theraven1979 »

Don`t blame me blame Sir Terrence Wide-on heard it on his radio show on the way into work this morning.

So shit it's funny!

Jim
Alias wrote:
theraven1979 wrote: Jim :oops:
Hang that head!
Trading Places, 1983 I believe.
And that joke was lame enough to win the Special Olympics back then too!
"I bathed in sun and walked in rain
It taught me how to laugh again"
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Post by suchi »

Still on the snail trail…..
A tortoise gets mugged over for his lettuce leaf by a couple of snails. In the police station the desk sergeant asks the tortoise what exactly happened. Tortoise replies, “Well officer, I’m not sure it all happened so fastâ€
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Post by PaulinLondon »

[quote="suchi"]Still on the snail trail…..
A tortoise gets mugged over for his lettuce leaf by a couple of snails. In the police station the desk sergeant asks the tortoise what exactly happened. Tortoise replies, “Well officer, I’m not sure it all happened so fastâ€
"Madame, Be in no doubt as to the seriousness of your position". The Day of the Jackal, 1973.
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Post by Alias »

:grin:
Ah, but then the title is Crap Joke, so who can really complain?
I'm a comedian and poet, so anything that doesn't get a laugh is a poem. B.Hicks.

"Further modulation of the frequency rotation, Triggered waveband activation - near elation"

'Why are you so edgy, kid ?'
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Post by suchi »

[quote="PaulinLondon"][quote="suchi"]Still on the snail trail…..
A tortoise gets mugged over for his lettuce leaf by a couple of snails. In the police station the desk sergeant asks the tortoise what exactly happened. Tortoise replies, “Well officer, I’m not sure it all happened so fastâ€
Isolate the critisism and pass it on.
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Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by ria »

If not misunderstood on that highway (really too fast for me) :
The Sergeant should know the S car go can easily beat the tortoise, then the officer is the slowier... Is this crap smart enough ?

Where is the break ? leave the brain alone wich is non-stop working anyway, don't need you for that.
Do not spoil sex, mind your beauty, you're not so disgusting :oops:
Do not spoil the humour desperatly needed, be more poetic, test it, taste it :
just like that cup of tea in the countryside :

www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-dMh269Wvo
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Post by Alias »

I fucken love the way you write mate, seriously;
sheer surrealistic poetry man! :grin:
But fuck it - lets have some JOKES!
I'm a comedian and poet, so anything that doesn't get a laugh is a poem. B.Hicks.

"Further modulation of the frequency rotation, Triggered waveband activation - near elation"

'Why are you so edgy, kid ?'
ria
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Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by ria »

Alias wrote:I fucken love the way you write mate, seriously;
sheer surrealistic poetry man! :grin:
But fuck it - lets have some JOKES!
Thanks mate, sincerely pleased to suit you. Must say I like your way too.
Btw I need a room next time I go to England, am I welcome ?

Like the Joke ? :wink:
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by suchi »

If you look owt like your avatar you'll need a fucking cage in a zoo.
ria wrote:
Alias wrote:I fucken love the way you write mate, seriously;
sheer surrealistic poetry man! :grin:
But fuck it - lets have some JOKES!
Thanks mate, sincerely pleased to suit you. Must say I like your way too.
Btw I need a room next time I go to England, am I welcome ?

Like the Joke ? :wink:
Isolate the critisism and pass it on.
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