Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by **theraven1979** » 24 May 2006, 09:09

This snail wants to buy a car:-

Snail: "Yeah I`ll take this one"
Salesman: "Cool"
Snail: "However, I`d like you to paint a big fuckin S on the bonnet, the back and the side panels"
Salesman: "Oh as in S for Snail?"
Snail: "No it's so that when I'm overtaking people on the motorway they'll see the S and say 'Look at that S Car Go"

Jim

Post by **Alias** » 24 May 2006, 11:56

theraven1979 wrote: Jim

Hang that head!
Trading Places, 1983 I believe.
And that joke was lame enough to win the Special Olympics back then too!

ria · Post by **ria** » 24 May 2006, 12:54

That is a Crape Joke but no fiction : catch it in the news today

I translate for you the title and 1 essential sentence but as for the rest of the article sure you'll find it in your own news and anyway learn some French and "Do the dog" !

QUOTE

"Les Britanniques rÃªvent Ã la gamelle de leur chien"
The British have a fancy for their dog's bowl

LONDRES (Reuters) - En Grande-Bretagne, la plupart des chiens mangent plus sainement que leurs maÃ®tres, rÃ©vÃ¨le une Ã©tude publiÃ©e mercredi.

Quelque 18% des 1.337 propriÃ©taires d'animaux interrogÃ©s offrent Ã leurs amis Ã quatre pattes des petits plats frais.

Du coup, 21% des chiens apprÃ©cient le fromage, 15% ont droit Ã du poisson et 9% Ã des lÃ©gumes.

Plus du quart des personnes sondÃ©es avouent qu'elles se satisferaient de la gamelle de leurs compagnons :
-> "1/4 of the people polled admit they will be satisfied with what there's in their pet's bowl."

Mais ce rÃ©gime de faveur a un prix: les Britanniques dÃ©pensent 2,3 milliards de livres (3,4 milliards d'euros) par an pour l'alimentation de leurs chiens, selon l'Ã©tude menÃ©e pour l'assureur Direct Line. Et 10% d'entre eux reconnaissent que leur animal a un problÃ¨me de poids.

Post by **theraven1979** » 24 May 2006, 13:11

Don`t blame me blame Sir Terrence Wide-on heard it on his radio show on the way into work this morning.

So shit it's funny!

Jim

Alias wrote:
theraven1979 wrote: Jim
Hang that head!
Trading Places, 1983 I believe.
And that joke was lame enough to win the Special Olympics back then too!

Post by **suchi** » 24 May 2006, 14:27

Still on the snail trailâ€¦..
A tortoise gets mugged over for his lettuce leaf by a couple of snails. In the police station the desk sergeant asks the tortoise what exactly happened. Tortoise replies, â€œWell officer, Iâ€™m not sure it all happened so fastâ€

Post by **PaulinLondon** » 24 May 2006, 15:06

[quote="suchi"]Still on the snail trailâ€¦..
A tortoise gets mugged over for his lettuce leaf by a couple of snails. In the police station the desk sergeant asks the tortoise what exactly happened. Tortoise replies, â€œWell officer, Iâ€™m not sure it all happened so fastâ€

Post by **Alias** » 24 May 2006, 15:16

Ah, but then the title is Crap Joke, so who can really complain?

Post by **suchi** » 24 May 2006, 16:10

[quote="PaulinLondon"][quote="suchi"]Still on the snail trailâ€¦..
A tortoise gets mugged over for his lettuce leaf by a couple of snails. In the police station the desk sergeant asks the tortoise what exactly happened. Tortoise replies, â€œWell officer, Iâ€™m not sure it all happened so fastâ€

ria · Post by **ria** » 24 May 2006, 16:24

If not misunderstood on that highway (really too fast for me) :
The Sergeant should know the S car go can easily beat the tortoise, then the officer is the slowier... Is this crap smart enough ?

Where is the break ? leave the brain alone wich is non-stop working anyway, don't need you for that.
Do not spoil sex, mind your beauty, you're not so disgusting

Do not spoil the humour desperatly needed, be more poetic, test it, taste it :
just like that cup of tea in the countryside :

www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-dMh269Wvo

Post by **Alias** » 24 May 2006, 16:40

I fucken love the way you write mate, seriously;
sheer surrealistic poetry man!

But fuck it - lets have some JOKES!

ria · Post by **ria** » 24 May 2006, 16:47

Alias wrote:I fucken love the way you write mate, seriously;
sheer surrealistic poetry man!
But fuck it - lets have some JOKES!

Thanks mate, sincerely pleased to suit you. Must say I like your way too.
Btw I need a room next time I go to England, am I welcome ?

Like the Joke ?

Post by **suchi** » 24 May 2006, 17:04

If you look owt like your avatar you'll need a fucking cage in a zoo.

ria wrote:
Alias wrote:I fucken love the way you write mate, seriously;
sheer surrealistic poetry man!
But fuck it - lets have some JOKES!
Thanks mate, sincerely pleased to suit you. Must say I like your way too.
Btw I need a room next time I go to England, am I welcome ?

Like the Joke ?

Burning Up Time - The Stranglers and Hugh Cornwell Unofficial Forums