Crap Joke No.83840370

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sewer rat
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by sewer rat » 28 Nov 2019, 23:52

I was raised by goldfish, which might explain the long trail of shit dangling out my ass.

droopsnoot
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot » 28 Dec 2019, 19:55

Met up with a good friend over the weekend, and we were reminiscing about family and good times in the past.

"I'll never forget" I said, "when you came rushing out into the hallway that night 12 years ago. 'It's a boy, it's a boy' you were shouting. What a night!".

"Yes" he replied, "I've not been back to Bangkok since".
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall

droopsnoot
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot » 30 Dec 2019, 11:47

I’ve just offered my elderly neighbour £10 to have a go on her stairlift.

I think she is going to take me up on it.
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall

jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason » 15 Jan 2020, 23:00

Naming my dog Shark was a big mistake living by the seaside. :?

jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason » 21 Jan 2020, 15:46

I was in a Chinese restaurant when a duck walked up to me with a rose in its beak.
It took the rose out and started kissing me all the way up my arm

I said "excuse me waiter, I asked for aromatic duck!.

droopsnoot
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot » 22 Jan 2020, 11:09

I had two policemen at the front door earlier.

One said "It's about your wife, sir. I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus"

I said "I know but she's great with the kids"
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall

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