Crap Joke No.83840370

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Summer Dreamer
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Joined: 24 Mar 2011, 16:35

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Summer Dreamer » 14 Sep 2019, 12:52

MiB81 wrote:
13 Sep 2019, 19:06
Ok, and whilst we may be on the subject,
I was in the local Turkish Vegan restaurant last Tuesday,
about 9pm, and when the waiter came over I thought,
I'm not taking any of their usual shit, and I shouted,
"NO, I don't want to hear anything from you, sir, about
the famous Coventry ska revivalists The Specials!"
The waiter looked a bit hurt, and muttered that he thought
that was very bad manners.
"NO" I once again screamed, "this is very Bad Manners!"
and started a loud chorus of My Boy Lollipop whilst
Can Caning around the restaurant, pouring Special Brew
past my lolling, extended tongue.
I think you Selectered the wrong restaurant.
'Scaffolding pays good bread'

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PaulinLondon
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by PaulinLondon » 14 Sep 2019, 13:10

Lime pickle, mint sauce, onion salad.

:smt007 :fire:
"Madame, Be in no doubt as to the seriousness of your position". The Day of the Jackal, 1973.

droopsnoot
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot » 24 Sep 2019, 18:53

What have Thomas Cook and Gerry McCann got in common?

They'll take you on holiday, but won't bring you home.
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall

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MiB81
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by MiB81 » 02 Oct 2019, 12:32

How do you get a fat girl into bed?





Piece of cake

......


piece of cake



....


piece of cake
...I'm making lists of all the people I love,
and all the cunts that should fuck off...

droopsnoot
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot » 04 Oct 2019, 18:24

Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Patient: I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Doctor: Interesting. Please, take a seat.
Patient: I can't. I'm not allowed on the furniture.
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall

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Boody
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Boody » 04 Oct 2019, 21:20

droopsnoot wrote:Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Patient: I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Doctor: Interesting. Please, take a seat.
Patient: I can't. I'm not allowed on the furniture.
That is a funny and clean joke Image quite unusual
I can't help getting old. I just refuse to grow up.

jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason » 05 Oct 2019, 06:36

I went to the doctors because I keep thinking I'm a moth. I waited in reception and then went into a room. I said to the man please help me I'm convinced I'm a moth. He said you are in the wrong room. The doctor is further down the corridor this is the admin room. I said well it's your bloody fault for leaving the light on!

Summer Dreamer
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Summer Dreamer » 08 Oct 2019, 14:05

Patient: "I keep thinking I'm an island off the toe of Italy."
Doctor: "Don't be so silly."
'Scaffolding pays good bread'

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