Crap Joke No.83840370

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jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason » 20 Aug 2018, 20:47

Will my continental quilt still work after Brexit?!!

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iain
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by iain » 21 Aug 2018, 01:17

MULLY wrote:
20 Aug 2018, 12:21
I visited my local Health Centre complaining of feeling like a Jelly Baby.......

...the G.P. ate my face off :lol:
Appreciated in NI! :lol:
rotten thoughts

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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot » 22 Aug 2018, 10:21

Homer wrote:
08 Aug 2018, 20:47
I hear Sinead 'O' Conner is doing Barry Chuckles remembrance service.

They've chosen 'Nothin Compares, To Me ..... To You' :grin:
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jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason » 22 Aug 2018, 10:52

Do the Wasps rugby team have a bee team?

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Boody
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Boody » 25 Aug 2018, 14:17

Bag Lady wrote:
Boody wrote:
08 Aug 2018, 18:33
droopsnoot wrote:Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities was first serialised in two UK local newspapers.

It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times.
Well I got it and it gave me the best laugh I have had in a while. Thanks Droopsnoot.
Me too!

(Hi Boody :smt006 )
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jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason » 25 Aug 2018, 19:12

Just been offered 8 legs of venison for £50, is that two deer?

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cerdan6899
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by cerdan6899 » 28 Aug 2018, 11:02

To the person who stole my antidepressants...i hope your happy now.
i want something good to die for, to make it beautiful to live

jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason » 28 Aug 2018, 20:25

I kept getting a withheld number calling my mobile. So in the end I answered it an whoever it was on the other end sneezed, coughed 6 times, blew their nose an promptly hung up...

I hate cold callers!

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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason » 29 Aug 2018, 21:12

I’m going to France tomorrow for the world "Flicking A Ruler On The Edge Of A Desk" championships. It's held annually in the Dordogne.....

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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot » 30 Aug 2018, 10:32

My girlfriend was dating a circus clown before we met. I have some pretty big shoes to fill.
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jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason » 31 Aug 2018, 19:03

Just had my scan result back from the hospital. They think I may have pneumonoulcramicroscopicsillcovolcaneoccollosis, but at the moment it’s difficult to say.

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MULLY
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by MULLY » 03 Sep 2018, 12:44

I've recently started dating one of a pair of identical twins.

My mate asked how I tell them apart (avoiding any embarrassment).

I replied - luckily Susan always wears purple nail varnish and Brian has a cock!!
Allow me to re-arrange your face, sometimes I'd really like to get to know you better

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