Crap Joke No.83840370

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Nothingonearth
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Nothingonearth » 05 Jun 2016, 14:37

A guy with two left feet walks into a shoe shop and asks for a pair of flip flips!

droopsnoot
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot » 14 Jun 2016, 12:29

Sad news from the Nestlé factory today, where an employee was seriously injured when a pallet of chocolate bars fell from a high shelf and crushed him. He tried to summon help, but every time he shouted "The Milky Bars are on me!", everyone cheered.
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zontar
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by zontar » 14 Jun 2016, 23:49

This from Craigslist, of all places:

Why is a camera like a condom?

Because they capture the moment!

droopsnoot
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot » 03 Jul 2016, 18:57

Our band's got a Polish roadie.

And a Czech one too. A Czech one too. Czech one too.
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall

jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason » 03 Jul 2016, 20:26

Roy Hodgson is taking over the government from tomorrow. As he's the best man to get us out of Europe really quickly!

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Nothingonearth
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Nothingonearth » 11 Jul 2016, 23:14

In a bit of trouble. Stole a bunch of inflatables, so have to lilo for a while!

Nothingonearth
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Nothingonearth » 12 Jul 2016, 09:13

droopsnoot wrote:Our band's got a Polish roadie.

And a Czech one too. A Czech one too. Czech one too.

:grin: having that!

sewer rat
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by sewer rat » 12 Jul 2016, 15:36

what's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
oral sex makes your day whereas anal sex makes your whole week (hole weak)

Russ65
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Russ65 » 13 Jul 2016, 09:53

Apparently the urge to start singing 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' is only a whim away!!!

Russ65
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Russ65 » 13 Jul 2016, 09:55

Spent some time tending the wife's grave earlier today. Bless her she thinks I'm digging a pond. :shock:

Nothingonearth
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Nothingonearth » 14 Jul 2016, 21:32

Nothingonearth wrote:
droopsnoot wrote:Our band's got a Polish roadie.

And a Czech one too. A Czech one too. Czech one too.

:grin: having that!

Tried it at work today. You could have heard a pin drop :smt010

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MULLY
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by MULLY » 22 Jul 2016, 13:14

Angela Merkel's jet lands in Athens Airport. At passport control, the Greek Immigration Officer stops her.

"Nationality?"

"German"

"Occupation?"

"No.... just here for a couple of days"
Allow me to re-arrange your face, sometimes I'd really like to get to know you better

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