Biggest bollock dropped at work?

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theraven1979
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Post by theraven1979 »

Think I might have won the prize today for dropping a large bollock.

I`ve imported 3500 records into our new system but overlooked something:-

When I imported a history record is created along with all the data. Unfortunately what I didn`t notice is that the history record comprises of the folder where you store the files ready for import which I`d called "latest shite" :p . Our clients log onto the system through the internet and will be able to view this info (FUCK!)

Cue me going through 500 files (thankfully?! I decided to batch import in 500s) and having to manually change whilst the MD looks on disapprovingly!




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Post by DannyL »

We had a power cut in the office a few weeks back, so we worked without computers. We signed people on at their allotted time, but had to wait until power was restored (at about 3pm) before we could put their benefit through on the computer.

One daft cock (namely me) forgot to do this, and went home at the end of the day having signed on fifty people but not processing their payment. Cue several greasy pikeys foaming at the mouth and kicking off round the office three days later....
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theraven1979
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Post by theraven1979 »

hehe - could be worse though - at least we don`t work on an oil rig :D


Jim
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It taught me how to laugh again"
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Post by Alex »

Good work Jim :D :D :D

Years ago I was working at a garage as a skivvy, making cups of tea, sweeping up etc...
The garage was a sports, classic & custom specialist and one day a big ol' American car came in for a service. It was a huge thing, a family of four could've lived quite comfortably in the boot.
Anyway, me & me mate Ivan were gazing under the bonnet at it's aircraft sized engine, and decided to rev it up a bit. Ivan reached into the engine bay and started yanking on the throttle cable. It was fookin loud, awesome in fact.
What we hadn't realised was that as well as being in for a service there was a problem with the "column" shift gear stick too. It had gone a bit floppy and kept falling in and out of gears.
All the time we were there revving this massive engine to fuck, the gear shift was vibrating and flopping about, and eventually it dropped into reverse.
Suddenly the car was gone! Leaving Ivan and me staring at the garage forecourt floor, where it used to be. It shot backwards across the yard and destroyed itself in the opposite wall.

:D :stupid:
look I've got a microphone, I can speak about 2000 times louder than any of you idiots, alright!.....However loud you shout........SHUT UP!!...YA BUNCH OF MORONS !!!!!
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theraven1979
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Post by theraven1979 »

Haha!!


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It taught me how to laugh again"
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Post by C r a s s ! »

Alex wrote:Good work Jim :D :D :D

Years ago I was working at a garage as a skivvy, making cups of tea, sweeping up etc...
The garage was a sports, classic & custom specialist and one day a big ol' American car came in for a service. It was a huge thing, a family of four could've lived quite comfortably in the boot.
Anyway, me & me mate Ivan were gazing under the bonnet at it's aircraft sized engine, and decided to rev it up a bit. Ivan reached into the engine bay and started yanking on the throttle cable. It was fookin loud, awesome in fact.
What we hadn't realised was that as well as being in for a service there was a problem with the "column" shift gear stick too. It had gone a bit floppy and kept falling in and out of gears.
All the time we were there revving this massive engine to fuck, the gear shift was vibrating and flopping about, and eventually it dropped into reverse.
Suddenly the car was gone! Leaving Ivan and me staring at the garage forecourt floor, where it used to be. It shot backwards across the yard and destroyed itself in the opposite wall.

:D :stupid:
:D :D :D :wallbash:
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Post by d00mw0lf »

at my old job (forklift driver/general running round a warehouse) we'd had a break in and some stuff had gone missing - nothing important, i think there was about £30 from petty cash and a few odds and ends gone missing.
i was in the back room "checking orders" (read: watching telly) and i heard someone outside the door. reason went out the window, so i picked up a bottle and in a rush of mad courage i ran out and whacked them over the head....

it's REALLY not a good idea to knock your boss out cold with a bottle! :laugh: god knows how i didn't get fired for it :P
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Post by yellowcakeuf6 »

Alex wrote:Suddenly the car was gone! Leaving Ivan and me staring at the garage forecourt floor, where it used to be. It shot backwards across the yard and destroyed itself in the opposite wall.
:D :D :D

You can't leave it at that Alex. Wh'appen next?
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Post by Alex »

yellowcakeuf6 wrote:
Alex wrote:Suddenly the car was gone! Leaving Ivan and me staring at the garage forecourt floor, where it used to be. It shot backwards across the yard and destroyed itself in the opposite wall.

:D :D :D

You can't leave it at that Alex. Wh'appen next?
:D

We signed on! :D
look I've got a microphone, I can speak about 2000 times louder than any of you idiots, alright!.....However loud you shout........SHUT UP!!...YA BUNCH OF MORONS !!!!!
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Post by DannyL »

Aye, so you did. At Hoegate Street. :p
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Post by Alex »

DannyL wrote:Aye, so you did. At Hoegate Street. :p
You are a naughty boy DannyL, Mrs Alex is on her way to slap your legs for looking at DCI.
look I've got a microphone, I can speak about 2000 times louder than any of you idiots, alright!.....However loud you shout........SHUT UP!!...YA BUNCH OF MORONS !!!!!
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Post by Dom P »

I witnessed a good one....

A few years ago I visited Denver, which is the headquarters of a well known DTP software company.

Anyways, myself and few yanks (one of whom was a very PC woman - well all yanks are extremely PC) had a meeting at this firm to get a presentation on database software they were developing.

Now our company at the time was a big name in the world of publishing (the US headquarters being in Boulder), so this firm were falling over themselves to get a six figure deal out of us.

So this young guy comes into the room to do his presentation, and he's a Brit. He's got all the chat and his notebook is well flash and hooked up to a projector, and the guy gets to the crunch bit of the demo: The search facility.

So the poor guy goes, "And all you need to do to retrieve your document is click this button here."

So he clicks. And up on the screen in the results window is not our demo file, but a file called:

MUMS I'D LIKE TO FUCK.MPG.

He tries his best to close down the window but, as Sod's Law dictates, the Mac freezes... and he ends up virtually ripping the power cord out of the wall. He went crimson, and bolted out the room mumbling something about getting a new notebook...

:D
"I think you guys are going to have to come up with some wonderful new lies, or people just aren't going to want to go on living." -- Slaughterhouse-Five
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