Favourite Comedy Lines of all time...

[Turkey Troter]

"Is this the right room for an argument?"

"I told you once"

etc etc...

[Rockula]

'' He's not gonna sell much ice cream going at that speed is he? ''
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sedG1kBtn1M

[theraven1979]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-4K6Hm4WTQ


Don't be dirty!

Jim

[porkymeat]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jux-Zi-IucU

[Sinister]

There's loads from the brilliant Fools and Horses series:

Del Boy: All the things that we've ever got out of life have come from my intelligence and my foresight
Rodney: Well, I'm glad somebody's owned up

[Five Minutes]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1DVMFppRg8

Best programme ever?

[The Strangler]

Derek & Clive Live. Still appeals to the sniggering teenager in me!

Bloke came up to me and says 'You cunt'.
I says 'What?'
He says 'You cunt' ...

later on...

'Don't you 'euuuuggghh' me mate'.

Brilliant!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTifRi3qDkU

[PaulinLondon]

"The trouble is, Squatter, simply didn't understand the Ant. He didn't have a clue".

[MULLY]

Who's on first?.....

[Alexinblack]

"Do you wanna come back to our hut"

[adriana]

Cook: Need I say with over much emphasis that it is in the leg division that you are deficient.
Moore: The leg division?
Cook: Yes, the leg division, Mr Spiggott. You are deficient in it to the tune of one. Your right leg, I like. I like your right leg. A lovely leg for the role. That's what I said when I saw you come in. I said, "A lovely leg for the role". I've got nothing against your right leg. The trouble is - neither have you.

[scotticusnorvegicus]

Quotes from Still Game


Victor: Jack and me are going back to school.
Boabby: It's "Jack and I".
Jack: No, its me and Victor



Bobby: Hey! Look! It's Lambert and Butler!
Jack: Shut it Bobby. You're the only fag in here.



BOABBY
[Jack and Victor enter the pub] Oh, here they come, Batman and Robin!
VICTOR MCDADE We'll accept that, so long as you go catwoman, you big pussy



WINSTON INGRAM
But know this! I run a tight ship, not a shite tip!