Favourite Comedy Lines of all time...

[PaulinLondon]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNSeCPfAhQI

[Jon the Impaler]

The very quotable and cult classic Withnail and I ....many many quotes but one of the best
"We've gone on holiday by mistake "

OR - same scene
"Are you the farmer "
"Stop saying that Withnail of course he's a fucking farmer"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idxVez86Zgc

[Burn e 77]

Jack Nicholson:
"I'd rather stick pins in my eyes..."

Bernie

[Hammersmith1982]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNSeCPfAhQI

[Hammersmith1982]

"Stoneybridge for the next Olympic Games"

Absolutely

Ahhhh Stoneybridge.....where some people are small and some are tall.

[Hammersmith1982]

One we use regularly at Wheelchair Rugby

Tis merely a flesh wound

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKhEw7nD9C4

[kjblack]

Watched The Office last night.

It's Comic Relief day and big Keith from accounts is in the rest room (dressed as Ali G) advising Dawn to be careful with language on her projected trip to America.

"In America your fanny means your arse...(raises a Scotch egg to his mouth)...It's not your minge" bites into his egg.)

[sewer rat]

Canadian comedian Stewart Francis on the topic of family......"I'm the youngest of 3....both my parents are older". sticking to stand up....Milton Jones....."when our grandfather died, we never got a chance to say goodbye....which was ironic as he died face down in a bowl of CHEERIOS"
..............genius

[zontar]

"To the moon, Alice!" (There was an obscure early 90's band who nicked that line.)

[zontar]

I intended to say for their moniker.

[mickinblack]

Oliver Hardy
Well here's another fine mess you have gotten me into.
Stanley laurel
Well I couldn't help it..

Still cracks me up to this day

[PaulinLondon]

"The Squatter and Ant" by Derek and Clive.

Enjoy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMd7MjE8uf0