Crap Joke No.83840370

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droopsnoot
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

Someone stole my credit card details and used it to buy some aftershave.

I contacted the bank, and they said my card has been cologned.
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

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A vegan told me people who sold meat were disgusting.
I said people who sell fruit and veg are grocer.
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For we'll all be with you someday,
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

My mate Dave rang in a panic yesterday:

'I'm in dire need of help urgently, can you help me round up 18 geese?'

Sure, I said. It's 20 geese.
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by MiB81 »

Your jokes get me every time Mr.Droop :wink:
...I'm making lists of all the people I love,
and all the cunts that should fuck off...
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

I finally went to a live event last night, down my local pub.

There was a bloke on stage telling jokes and every time he told one his faced changed colour.

He was a stand-up chameleon.
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

The first rule of Norman Collier club is ou alk ut orm er club.
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by zontar »

What did the polka fan say when he ran out of beer? "Hey, this music sucks!"
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

Breaking news: A dyslexic terrorist has barricaded himself inside London Zoo. Police have confirmed that he has taken six ostriches.
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Boody »

zontar wrote:What did the polka fan say when he ran out of beer? "Hey, this music sucks!"
Am I the only person that hasn’t worked out this joke???
I can't help getting old. I just refuse to grow up.
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

Boody wrote: 05 Jun 2021, 18:37
zontar wrote:What did the polka fan say when he ran out of beer? "Hey, this music sucks!"
Am I the only person that hasn’t worked out this joke???
I presumed that it meant that as soon as the guy sobered up, he realised the music wasn't as good as he'd thought. The suggestion being that you'd have to be drunk to like polka, whatever that is. [/kitten]
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by laurie »

Boody wrote: 05 Jun 2021, 18:37
zontar wrote:What did the polka fan say when he ran out of beer? "Hey, this music sucks!"
Am I the only person that hasn’t worked out this joke???
No
do you wanna
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

Palaeontologists are having a party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur tibia.

It's going to be quite the shindig.
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