Burning Up Time - The Stranglers and Hugh Cornwell Unofficial Forums

What sits in a tree and goes "Aaaaaah?"

An owl with a speech impediment.....

Police in London have arrested a man they found on a swing in a children's
playground.

The man claimed he wasn't doing anything wrong, he just self-oscillating.

Ride Again seems phenomenally rare on CD, wish it would be reissued in some form so the band can get paid for it rather than a greedy second hand seller.....

My wife once told me sex was better when she was on holidays...that wasn't a very nice postcard to get.

Certainly the angriest!! Amazing soloist if you like that sort of thing.....

Nothing grabbed me at all from the BBC's coverage.

And the Lord said to John "Come forth and receive eternal life." However John came fifth and got a toaster.

When you look really closely, all mirrors look like eyeballs..... My wife accused me of being immature, so I told her to get out of my fort. Just asked the wife what she's burning for dinner. Turned out it was my clothes. Honesty may be the best policy, but by a process of elimination, dishonesty is...

A guy was up in court for repeatedly battering his wife. The judge asked him why he kept beating her. He said,

"I don't know, maybe it's my weight and superior footwork......."

Too difficult. Picked four bands from that era I love and still play regularly. If a gun was put to my head I might have to say The Clash, but in reality it's probably whichever I have listened to most recently!!

What’s got 25 doors that won’t open?


George Bush’s advent calendar.

Hello, You've called The Incontinence Hotline ....... Can you hold please??