Search found 508 matches
- 20 Jan 2021, 19:27
- Forum: General Other stuff
- Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
- Replies: 2112
- Views: 197088
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
I've been offered a job making plastic Draculas. There will only be two of us on the production line so I have to make every second count.
- 12 Jan 2021, 19:17
- Forum: General Other stuff
- Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
- Replies: 2112
- Views: 197088
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
Over Christmas I bought a tub of Celebrations and swapped all the wrappers over.
My wife wasn’t happy, she got her Snickers in a Twix.
My wife wasn’t happy, she got her Snickers in a Twix.
- 12 Jan 2021, 10:56
- Forum: General Other stuff
- Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
- Replies: 2112
- Views: 197088
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
Just spent £300 on a limousine and discovered that the fee doesn't include a driver.
Can't believe I've spent all that money and I have nothing to chauffeur it.
Can't believe I've spent all that money and I have nothing to chauffeur it.
- 21 Dec 2020, 11:24
- Forum: General Other stuff
- Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
- Replies: 2112
- Views: 197088
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
I'm selling my pet python on eBay.
Some bloke just rang up and asked "Is it big?"
I said "It's massive!"
He said "How many feet?"
I said "None, it's a snake!"
Some bloke just rang up and asked "Is it big?"
I said "It's massive!"
He said "How many feet?"
I said "None, it's a snake!"
- 20 Dec 2020, 19:26
- Forum: General Other stuff
- Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
- Replies: 2112
- Views: 197088
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
I was playing Bonopoly last night.
It's the same as Monopoly, except the streets have no name.
It's the same as Monopoly, except the streets have no name.
- 16 Dec 2020, 10:32
- Forum: General Other stuff
- Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
- Replies: 2112
- Views: 197088
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
Bono had a negative COVID test and was relieved that he’s only got bad catarrh.
“Well tonight thank God it’s phlegm instead of flu....” he said.
“Well tonight thank God it’s phlegm instead of flu....” he said.
- 14 Dec 2020, 10:16
- Forum: General Other stuff
- Topic: Last book read
- Replies: 691
- Views: 89008
Re: Last book read
I've just finished "The Arctic Event" by Robert Ludlum and James Cobb, very enjoyable. Bomber crashes on a remote island in the fifties, has a deadly cargo which various groups are trying to recover.
- 11 Dec 2020, 10:18
- Forum: General Other stuff
- Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
- Replies: 2112
- Views: 197088
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
I showed the damaged remains of my luggage to my lawyer.
I said 'I want to sue the airline'
He replied 'You don't have much of a case'.
I said 'I want to sue the airline'
He replied 'You don't have much of a case'.
- 01 Dec 2020, 10:53
- Forum: General Other stuff
- Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
- Replies: 2112
- Views: 197088
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
I phoned up my fruit machine manufacturer.
I said, "My fruit machine isn't working".
The lady said, "Can you hold?"
I said, "No, it won't even let me nudge".
I said, "My fruit machine isn't working".
The lady said, "Can you hold?"
I said, "No, it won't even let me nudge".
- 27 Nov 2020, 19:38
- Forum: General Other stuff
- Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
- Replies: 2112
- Views: 197088
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
Just browsing on Amazon for any Black Friday special offers, and I noticed that if you buy the full set of Adam and the Ants sheet music, they'll throw in a stand, and deliver.
- 18 Nov 2020, 10:46
- Forum: General Other stuff
- Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
- Replies: 2112
- Views: 197088
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
Do YOU appear in the form of water droplet?
Are YOU found on grass and windows in the morning?
If so you may be dew condensation!
Are YOU found on grass and windows in the morning?
If so you may be dew condensation!
- 17 Nov 2020, 20:05
- Forum: General Other stuff
- Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
- Replies: 2112
- Views: 197088
Re: Crap Joke No.83840370
Clown divorces often end in lengthy custardy battles.