Burning Up Time - The Stranglers and Hugh Cornwell Unofficial Forums

I saw some of The Cure's set, didn't do much for me but then I don't really know their stuff. The first four or five songs just seemed a bit slow for a festival headline set to me. I caught some of The Killers in the pub on the Saturday night, again I only know the stuff that's been on the radio but...

I seem to pretty much hate everything I hear on the radio these days! I used to, but I find a lot of it is growing on me. I listen to Radio 1 while I'm working on the car, and it's surprising how much they play that I don't dislike. There's still a lot that I do of course, but plenty of it is quite...

What has four letters, never has five and always has six.

Charles, an anthropologist decides to study the natives of a distant tropical island. When he arrives he finds a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote location where he would make his collections. The river takes them downstream, and in the eve of the of the second day, they hear...

News is breaking that Police have raided Kermit's lily pad and found thousands of indecent images of Miss Piggy.

A spokesman said "it's the worst case of frog's porn I've ever seen".

Tyrone was having trouble in school. His teacher was always yelling at him, "You're driving me crazy, Tyrone; can't you learn anything? One day Tyrone's mother came to school to see how he was doing. The teacher told her honestly that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and that s...

A chap in the High Street asked me to take a survey.

“What do you know about dwarves?” He asked.

“Very little.” I replied.

Danny Baker sacked for a tweet about a chimp? It's PG gone mad.

I went to the pub dressed as a tennis ball yesterday.

Got served straight away.

I used to go out with a girl who had a lazy eye.

Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

An investigator.

I said to my mate "I bought my dog a little coat with writing on the back".

He replied "That's nice, what did it say?"

I said "Nothing, he's a dog."