Search found 487 matches

by droopsnoot
30 Jul 2020, 18:38
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2065
Views: 184062

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Anyone want any old copies of Chiropractors Monthly?

I have a load of back issues.
by droopsnoot
14 Jul 2020, 09:57
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2065
Views: 184062

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

I'm out bird watching with Sinead O'Connor.

So far, it's been seven owls and fifteen jays.
by droopsnoot
06 Jul 2020, 18:26
Forum: Contact Fans/Arrange Pre-gig piss-ups etc.
Topic: Pubs/beer.
Replies: 13
Views: 347

Re: Pubs/beer.

I went to the pub on Saturday night, and on Sunday lunchtime for lunch with parents, and on Sunday evening. The lunchtime one was the quietest - I really wonder how they can survive if it continues as quietly as it was on Sunday, but perhaps that's just because it was the first weekend and people wi...
by droopsnoot
02 Jul 2020, 10:08
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2065
Views: 184062

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Back to Countryfile, and we're down on the farm for an in-depth interview with a dairy farmer: Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give? Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one? Interviewer: Brown one. Farmer: A couple of litres per day. Interviewer: And the black one? Farmer: A coupl...
by droopsnoot
30 Jun 2020, 09:52
Forum: Other Bands
Topic: Glastonbury
Replies: 19
Views: 3697

Re: Glastonbury

I haven't seen that video before, but it pretty much confirms that the reason you don't see them on the BBC is that it wasn't filmed. There are static cameras below the front of stage, but I imagine that's for the big video screens either side - there didn't seem to be anyone on stage filming.
by droopsnoot
26 Jun 2020, 10:06
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2065
Views: 184062

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

The Proclaimers' lawn is getting out of control and they are blaming B&Q.

They've been to Lochaber, no mower. Sutherland, no mower. Lewis, no mower. Skye, no mower.
by droopsnoot
25 Jun 2020, 11:09
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Statues and censoring old songs
Replies: 70
Views: 1551

Re: Statues and censoring old songs

I have a problem with violent mobs ripping down statues, and it's just because it's vandalism. There are procedures for getting statues put up, and there are procedures for having them taken down. Those procedures have undoubtedly been modified over the years, and rightly so, to cope with changing a...
by droopsnoot
07 Jun 2020, 19:19
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2065
Views: 184062

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

I was waiting in the queue outside B&Q yesterday when a mate called and asked how big the queue was.

I said ‘the same size as the B’
by droopsnoot
04 Jun 2020, 19:11
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Best MUSIC books read
Replies: 35
Views: 925

Re: Best MUSIC books read

Doesn't even have to be about anyone I'm a major fan of either, usually. Me too, and the same for documentaries (which is a good thing, given the continued delay of the Stranglers one). Most of the band biographies I've read have been quite poor, though, not a patch on the quality of "No Mercy". Th...
by droopsnoot
27 May 2020, 09:25
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2065
Views: 184062

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

I went to a musical instrument themed costume party the other night.

Host: "And what have you come as?"

Me: "A harp!"

Host: "Your costume seems a bit small for a harp!"

Me: "Wait, are you calling me a lyre?"
by droopsnoot
26 May 2020, 09:39
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2065
Views: 184062

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

I have a flock of geese that help me shave little bits from the ends of blocks of cheese.

They’re migrating birds.
by droopsnoot
23 May 2020, 09:37
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: indoor positioning system technology
Replies: 2
Views: 245

Re: indoor positioning system technology

On the face of it, it sounds similar to the idea of the track and trace app that is being talked about - using Bluetooth to decide how close you've come to another person / device with the app. Adding in gyroscope and so on should increase accuracy. Do they have some kind of demo / trial you can hav...