Bernard Manning - Dead!

Post by **buginblack** » 19 Jun 2007, 12:38

The only funny thing I ever saw Bernard Manning do was when he appeared on Tiswas. He stepped on a rigged 'speak your weight' machine. The machine said 'one at a time please' and then exploded. Manning wasn't expecting it and looked like he was having a heart attack. Now, that was piss funny. Apart from that, it's good riddance to bad rubbish imho.

Post by **suchi** » 19 Jun 2007, 15:00

gizzard wrote:
steveareno wrote:
Racism in any guise, however mild, can never be tolerated.

Steveareno.
Quite right Steve!

I’m a pessimist by nature and IMO racism appears to be on the increase in this country and more so across Europe. Or maybe it’s just the media fuelling it? The political geography of the planet has been shaped by race wars. Who’s to say the future will hold anything different. For the past 2000 years it’s been fought conveniently under the flags of religion and eugenics. We humans just like fighting; in the ring, in the pub and in desserts, which seem particularly fashionable at the moment. People of all races are kicking the shit out of each other all over the globe.

Back to reality…most days I have to cycle through Harehills and Chapel Town (Leeds) and regularly get verbal and physical abuse for the privilege. Is it racism or just some people having a go at a bloke on a bike because he’s strayed in to a particular ethnic area. Sometimes I tell them to fuck off and sometimes I keep mi head down and pedal in a fast manner!. I don’t really have time to refer my “PC” handbook and tell them that they shouldn’t really say those nasty things! They never shout the fact that I've got a shit looking bike ... I'll leave you to fill in the blanks.

I fail to understand a lot of this PC bullshit. I’d like to think in years to come we’ll find it under the “fiction” section of ya local library.

Having said all that ...I hardly think the Bernard Manning’s jokes can be held responsible for Racial Chaos Theory. He was no butterfly that’s for sure!

munnsie · Post by **munnsie** » 19 Jun 2007, 16:33

Met the man once had a chat and seemed like a decent fella. His stuff was near to the mark but he could deliver the one liners like no one else.

He even had his wake the other week. What a fucking night, with some of the finest entertainers ever seen cracking jokes. He has been organising his funeral for a year for a Channel 4 programme that I'm sure will be on very soon. That shows his fucking humour.

The politically correct hated him but what would you prefer him or those two c*nts on Little Britain.

What is funnier? Manning telling jokes about birds so fat they burn their arses on a light bulb or Matt Lucas camping it up as the only gay in the village saying how he gave a 5-year-old a flyer to come to a gay club.

There has never been anyone do so much for charity and not even ask for a penny

RIP Bernard.

munnsie · Post by **munnsie** » 19 Jun 2007, 16:42

irish fella goes on a building site

the forman says to him"can you brew tea"

he replies "yes"

foreman says "can you drive a stacker truck"

irish fella says"why how bigs the fcuking teapot"

two scouse kids "can we mind your car mister?"
bloke replies "no need to mind it, theres a rottweiler in the back seat"
scouse kid "can it put fires out?"

window cleaners in liverpool are not using rags anymore, there using sanders theres that many fcuking houses boarded up

Arthur Streeb-Greebling · Post by **Arthur Streeb-Greebling** » 19 Jun 2007, 16:50

To be honest I find the 'humour' of people like Graham Norton & Julian Clary far more offensive than anything that Bernard said.

For instance you hear Julian Clary on TV going on about fisting Norman Lamont and enjoying having someone's huge fat cock rammed up his arse then the next thing I see him on, he's presenting on some kiddies TV show in the afternoon!
How wrong, sick and un-PC is that?

adam_neil · Post by **adam_neil** » 19 Jun 2007, 17:04

Great post ASG. Very fucking true.

I happened to catch a bit of that Norton geezers show the other night as I'm ever the insomniac these days. The humour was so tasteless.
Also the Beeb ignored The MiB for their recent punk programme. Fuckin' wankers.

Adam

Paul · Post by **Paul** » 19 Jun 2007, 17:11

just spotted a sick joke on another board:-

What's black and doesn't work?
Bernard Manning's kidneys.

according to the poster, Bernard would have laughed at that.
I agree with him.

Organ Grinder · Post by **Organ Grinder** » 19 Jun 2007, 18:50

I think a lot of it is about delivery and theperson behind it. A black guy making a black joke does not seem as racist because he is part of the joke. I guess Manning struck me as a fat, nasty twat so his humour, although funny from someone else, never seemed funny coming from him. It was the look in his eye when he told the jokes - may sound gay but I could sense evil in him.

Post by **PaulinLondon** » 19 Jun 2007, 19:17

suchi wrote:
IMO racism appears to be on the increase in this country and more so across Europe.

It is and I think it will get worse; here and across Europe.

Manning - was never bothered with him or about him.

Dave Allen

Fucking genius.

mctownie · Post by **mctownie** » 19 Jun 2007, 19:31

Organ Grinder wrote: It was the look in his eye when he told the jokes - may sound gay but I could sense evil in him.

Cmon OG I think thats a bit over the top - I saw him a couple of times live and he was very funny - certainly funnier than some stand out comedians ive seen, plus the 2nd do I saw the money went to Charity.

He did a lot of work for charity and didnt go on about it. As far as I see it if you didnt like him, dont watch him. Im more bothered about people trying to censure things and telling me whether I ouught to watch them or not.......now that does get on my tits.

RIP Bernard

Organ Grinder · Post by **Organ Grinder** » 19 Jun 2007, 22:44

He just looked slimey. And his humour reflected his look so I guess he was smart on that level.

philjxn · Post by **philjxn** » 19 Jun 2007, 23:08

Organ Grinder wrote:I think a lot of it is about delivery and theperson behind it. A black guy making a black joke does not seem as racist because he is part of the joke. I guess Manning struck me as a fat, nasty twat so his humour, although funny from someone else, never seemed funny coming from him. It was the look in his eye when he told the jokes - may sound gay but I could sense evil in him.

I'm with you on this one grinder....