VIZ

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NMH1965
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Post by NMH1965 »

Niki Wu wrote:
NMH1965 wrote:
Niki Wu wrote: Hey , don't you ever ,ever, ever let me hear (or see for that matter) you use the word "spunking" in a derrogatory context ever, ever, ever again.
SPUNK is a word that does as it says on the label or in the oxford english.
Which is??????????
:?
Courage , man, courage!
I shall check my dictionary!!

Are you sure you aren't getting confused with balls??
:?
The day is sticky yellow!!
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PaulinLondon
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Post by PaulinLondon »

Some more Top Tips.....

MUMS. Out of Christmas wrapping paper? Simply
convert birthday wrapping paper by adding "Jesus" after
"Happy Birthday".

Roy Fizzlebeef, Colchester.



SUBMARINE DESIGNERS. Why not put any
water pipes on the outside of the sub? That way,
if they burst, there is no harm done.

Jim Hogan, Liverpool.



FATTIES. Avoid your torso being
surreptitiously filmed and used in a BBC news
report about Britain's obesity problem by always
wearing a T-shirt with 'All Newsreaders are Cunts'
written on it.

Tricia Hayes, King's Lynn

:lol:
"Madame, Be in no doubt as to the seriousness of your position". The Day of the Jackal, 1973.
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mccardigan
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Post by mccardigan »

Bertie Blunt, His Parrot is a Right Cunt was a fave of mine.
if your breasts are too big you'll fall over. Unless, of course, you wear a rucksack.
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FenDale
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Post by FenDale »

It's never been as funny as it used to be! :twisted:
If Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass' sandwich they'd both still be alive today!
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NMH1965
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Post by NMH1965 »

FenDale wrote:It's never been as funny as it used to be! :twisted:
Boring!! :smile:

:?
The day is sticky yellow!!
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Sancho Panza
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Post by Sancho Panza »

"Rogers Profanisaurus" is possibly the greatest peice of educational literature to emerge in the last century.

http://www.viz.co.uk/?%2Fprofanisaurus% ... p%3Ffb%3D1
Don Baterista
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NMH1965
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Post by NMH1965 »

I concur!!

:?
The day is sticky yellow!!
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Nokesy
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Post by Nokesy »

THE FAT SLAGS !!! - 'Eeh Shaz, I'm frothin' at the gash!'....... classic.
Let me take you to a restuarant that got glass tables, you can watch yourself while you are eating...
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FenDale
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Post by FenDale »

NMH1965 wrote:
FenDale wrote:It's never been as funny as it used to be! :twisted:
Boring!! :smile:

:?
I think that first appeared in the second ever edition :lol:
If Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass' sandwich they'd both still be alive today!
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PaulinLondon
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Re: VIZ

Post by PaulinLondon »

Another one from the Letters page.....

"The Chief Executive of Wessex Water claims he can wash his face, armpits and genitals using only one cup of water. So what? I can wash my entire body using only my tongue. But then, I am a cat".

Tiddles, Bristol.


:lol:
"Madame, Be in no doubt as to the seriousness of your position". The Day of the Jackal, 1973.
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gizzard
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Re: VIZ

Post by gizzard »

PaulinLondon wrote:Another one from the Letters page.....

"The Chief Executive of Wessex Water claims he can wash his face, armpits and genitals using only one cup of water. So what? I can wash my entire body using only my tongue. But then, I am a cat".

Tiddles, Bristol.


:lol:

:lol: :lol:
''I THINK THE STRANGLERS ARE CRIMINALLY VULGAR, VIOLENT AND VORACIOUS, AND I OFTEN WONDER HOW THEY GET AWAY WITH IT.''
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PaulinLondon
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Re: VIZ

Post by PaulinLondon »

And another one.....

"It's uncanny how some of these old sayings are true. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", said my wife as she waved goodbye to me on the way to spend a month with her mother. Since then I have grown quite fond of my next door neighbour. I actually gave her one on the living room carpet this morning".


Christopher Bradbury, Derby.


:lol:
"Madame, Be in no doubt as to the seriousness of your position". The Day of the Jackal, 1973.
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