Crap Joke No.83840370

Other non Stranglers stuff here

Moderator: StanInBlack

Post Reply
User avatar
cerdan6899
VERSATRAN SERIES F
Posts: 159
Joined: 23 Jun 2008, 17:02
Location: south wales

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by cerdan6899 » 28 Jun 2019, 20:18

The wife and i have called it a day. She's said she can't put up with my obsession with football anymore and want's a divorce. Can't complain, we've had seventeen good seasons together.
i want something good to die for, to make it beautiful to live

jason
Man Of The Earth
Man Of The Earth
Posts: 6663
Joined: 02 Oct 2008, 15:34
Location: Kent

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason » 28 Jun 2019, 22:24

cerdan6899 wrote:
28 Jun 2019, 20:18
The wife and i have called it a day. She's said she can't put up with my obsession with football anymore and want's a divorce. Can't complain, we've had seventeen good seasons together.
Bit harsh, she could have just given you a yellow card!

Summer Dreamer
VERSATRAN SERIES F
Posts: 164
Joined: 24 Mar 2011, 16:35

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Summer Dreamer » 01 Jul 2019, 17:13

cerdan6899 wrote:
28 Jun 2019, 20:18
The wife and i have called it a day. She's said she can't put up with my obsession with football anymore and want's a divorce. Can't complain, we've had seventeen good seasons together.
Did you have anyone lined up on the sub's bench? :P
'Scaffolding pays good bread'

jason
Man Of The Earth
Man Of The Earth
Posts: 6663
Joined: 02 Oct 2008, 15:34
Location: Kent

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason » 01 Jul 2019, 19:12

You could at least ask for a VAR decision surely!

droopsnoot
The Raven
The Raven
Posts: 2577
Joined: 27 Jan 2004, 17:28
Location: Cheshire

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot » 29 Jul 2019, 10:09

Been out of work for three months, but I start a new job on Monday in a chess piece manufacturing firm.

Only snag is I am on Knights
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall

User avatar
MiB81
Ugly
Ugly
Posts: 1542
Joined: 05 Jun 2012, 11:44
Location: Moving like a coin in the air
Contact:

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by MiB81 » 31 Jul 2019, 17:58

Have we had the one about Dr.Stephen Hawkings most disastrous blind date, yet?
When he came home all cuts and scrapes, glasses broken, tie askew?
Yeah, apparently she stood him up.









:shock:
...I'm making lists of all the people I love,
and all the cunts that should fuck off...

droopsnoot
The Raven
The Raven
Posts: 2577
Joined: 27 Jan 2004, 17:28
Location: Cheshire

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot » 08 Aug 2019, 10:04

I started a new business specialising in beach shoes for people with only one leg.

It was a flop.
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall

droopsnoot
The Raven
The Raven
Posts: 2577
Joined: 27 Jan 2004, 17:28
Location: Cheshire

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot » 08 Aug 2019, 18:57

A game warden catches an unlicensed fisherman in the act.

"You're going to pay a big fine for all those fish in your bucket"

But, officer, I didn't catch these -- they are my pet fish and I just bring them here to swim. When they're done they jump back into the bucket.

"Oh really? This I've got to see. If you can prove it, I'll let you go."

The fisherman empties the bucket into the lake and waits patiently. A few minutes go by and nothing happens.

Game warden: So where are the fish?

Fisherman: What fish?
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall

User avatar
MiB81
Ugly
Ugly
Posts: 1542
Joined: 05 Jun 2012, 11:44
Location: Moving like a coin in the air
Contact:

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by MiB81 » 08 Aug 2019, 21:18

droopsnoot wrote:
08 Aug 2019, 10:04
I started a new business specialising in beach shoes for people with only one leg.

It was a flop.
I reckon there's one man, single handedly keeping
this thread alive.
Hat's off to droopsnoot 8)
How far are you through The Big Book of Jokes ? :shock:
...I'm making lists of all the people I love,
and all the cunts that should fuck off...

droopsnoot
The Raven
The Raven
Posts: 2577
Joined: 27 Jan 2004, 17:28
Location: Cheshire

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot » 17 Aug 2019, 18:49

What do you get if you cross Prince Andrew and Donald Trump?

Found in your cell, unresponsive.
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall

jason
Man Of The Earth
Man Of The Earth
Posts: 6663
Joined: 02 Oct 2008, 15:34
Location: Kent

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason » 17 Aug 2019, 19:42

Two cannibals are eating a clown and one suddenly says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

User avatar
theraven1979
Maninwhite
Maninwhite
Posts: 33830
Joined: 22 Dec 2001, 11:41
Location: Saltaire
Contact:

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by theraven1979 » 18 Aug 2019, 10:20

My grandparents were called Pearl and Dean but I knew them as Grandma and Grandpapapapaaapaaapaaa

Jim
"I bathed in sun and walked in rain
It taught me how to laugh again"

Post Reply