Crap Joke No.83840370

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Paul
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Paul »

An Irish working mens club organised a mystery tour.
Whilst on the coach, they had a whip round to see who could guess the destination.
The driver won £63
....near the nearside window.....
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scotticusnorvegicus
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by scotticusnorvegicus »

A guy turns up at his doctors with a carrot sticking out of his left ear,
a cucumber sticking out of his right ear,
a banana hanging out of his arse,
a cadburys flake hanging out of his left nostril and a mars bar hanging out of his right nostril.
The doctor says "Dont even bother sitting down, I know what the problem is"
"What's wrong with me" ? said the guy.
"You're not eating properly" the doctor replied.
We are very excited to be here in A ------me----ri--- ca.
droopsnoot
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help.

She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door.

Magically it opens.

"That's so clever," the woman gasps. "How did you do it?"

"Easy," replies the man. "These are my khakis".
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Alexinblack
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Alexinblack »

If trees had boobs, it would be really weird. Wooden tit?
jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason »

droopsnoot wrote:Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help.

She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door.

Magically it opens.

"That's so clever," the woman gasps. "How did you do it?"

"Easy," replies the man. "These are my khakis".
jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason »

jason wrote:
droopsnoot wrote:Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help.

She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door.

Magically it opens.

"That's so clever," the woman gasps. "How did you do it?"

"Easy," replies the man. "These are my khakis".
Very good!
zontar
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by zontar »

...groan...(but I can't do better).
droopsnoot
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

Some bloke started talking to me in the pub last night.

"My mate came off his motorbike today," he said.

"Oh really?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied. "He has slight brain damage, two broken arms and is completely blind in one eye."

"Blimey," I said. "No wonder he came off it then."
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jaydee1964
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jaydee1964 »

Drug addicts have stopped injecting heroin and started injecting curry powder ....
puts them in a better korma

"The ending of the day.......brings the cccaaaalllllmmm,that you've been waiting for........."
droopsnoot
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

A goldfish is involved in an accident in which the large spiny protrusion on his back is lost, resulting in him being unable to go to the toilet...

He goes to see a solicitor who agrees to take on his case on a 'No Fin, No Wee' basis....
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Alexinblack
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Alexinblack »

jaydee1964 wrote:Drug addicts have stopped injecting heroin and started injecting curry powder ....
puts them in a better korma
Very good mate.
droopsnoot
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by droopsnoot »

Shaggy: "Who knows the abbreviation for Rhinoceros?"
Scooby: "Rhino"
Shaggy: "OK, what is it Scoob?"
http://www.firenza.net - my homage to a seventies Vauxhall
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