Crap Joke No.83840370

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Boody
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Boody » 08 Aug 2018, 18:33

droopsnoot wrote:Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities was first serialised in two UK local newspapers.

It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times.
Well I got it and it gave me the best laugh I have had in a while. Thanks Droopsnoot.
I can't help getting old. I just refuse to grow up.

jason
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by jason » 08 Aug 2018, 20:10

My uncle Bill always used to light up the room. Shame he's doing five years for arson now.

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Homer
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Homer » 08 Aug 2018, 20:47

I hear Sinead 'O' Conner is doing Barry Chuckles remembrance service.

They've chosen 'Nothin Compares, To Me ..... To You' :grin:
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Bag Lady
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Bag Lady » 08 Aug 2018, 22:18

Boody wrote:
08 Aug 2018, 18:33
droopsnoot wrote:Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities was first serialised in two UK local newspapers.

It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times.
Well I got it and it gave me the best laugh I have had in a while. Thanks Droopsnoot.
Me too!

(Hi Boody :smt006 )
No one can win against kipple.

PJayBe
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by PJayBe » 09 Aug 2018, 15:08

The wife came in to the lounge wearing not very much whilst I was watching the Grand Prix.

"Fancy taking me upstairs and fucking me senseless?" She asks.

"Not just now." I reply. "I'm watching the motor racing."

"You do realise you can record it"

"Ok you grab the camcorder I'll be up when the Grand Prix has finished"

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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by PJayBe » 16 Aug 2018, 17:11

A tree house is the ultimate insult.

You're saying, "I killed a friend of yours, please hold him for me..."

Arthur Streeb-Greebling
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Arthur Streeb-Greebling » 18 Aug 2018, 19:00

My girlfriend is 124 years old, yep she’s so old her Pussy is haunted.
I can recommend angels
I've watched as they've made a man strong

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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by PJayBe » 19 Aug 2018, 11:58

Most people have 206 bones in their body but I have nearly 300. Yes, kippers for breakfast again!
Last edited by PJayBe on 19 Aug 2018, 12:46, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by PJayBe » 19 Aug 2018, 11:59

There's a Haircut 100 concert on Sky's Love channel at the moment.

If you've missed the start you can catch it on Love + 1

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MULLY
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by MULLY » 20 Aug 2018, 12:21

I visited my local Health Centre complaining of feeling like a Jelly Baby.......

...the G.P. ate my face off :lol:
Allow me to re-arrange your face, sometimes I'd really like to get to know you better

Summer Dreamer
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by Summer Dreamer » 20 Aug 2018, 12:59

One for the keyboardists out there...

Q. What could be better than having roses around your piano?

A. Having tulips around your organ.

:shock:
Last edited by Summer Dreamer on 21 Aug 2018, 20:01, edited 1 time in total.
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theraven1979
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Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Post by theraven1979 » 20 Aug 2018, 19:22

The Burning Up Time taxi is arriving soon for some of you lot!

JIm
"I bathed in sun and walked in rain
It taught me how to laugh again"

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