Dear Santa

Other non Stranglers stuff here

Moderator: StanInBlack

User avatar
Alexinblack
Man Of The Earth
Man Of The Earth
Posts: 5494
Joined: 11 Mar 2009, 20:00
Location: Crewe

Re: Dear Santa

Post by Alexinblack »

The Stone Roses to tour again.
User avatar
Ravenette
Ugly
Ugly
Posts: 1849
Joined: 22 Apr 2010, 19:44
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow

Re: Dear Santa

Post by Ravenette »

Winning euromillions ticket... BIG winner not just £2 odd
I've got some chloroform and handcuffs, just for you.
User avatar
iain
Ugly
Ugly
Posts: 1341
Joined: 12 Mar 2007, 01:18
Location: Northern Ireland

Re: Dear Santa

Post by iain »

This fucking flu which has fucked up my New Model Army plans to fuck off.
Happy Christmas.
rotten thoughts
User avatar
Alexinblack
Man Of The Earth
Man Of The Earth
Posts: 5494
Joined: 11 Mar 2009, 20:00
Location: Crewe

Re: Dear Santa

Post by Alexinblack »

iain wrote:This fucking flu which has fucked up my New Model Army plans to fuck off.
Happy Christmas.

Sorry to hear that. I hope you are better soon.
User avatar
iain
Ugly
Ugly
Posts: 1341
Joined: 12 Mar 2007, 01:18
Location: Northern Ireland

Re: Dear Santa

Post by iain »

Alexinblack wrote:
iain wrote:This fucking flu which has fucked up my New Model Army plans to fuck off.
Happy Christmas.

Sorry to hear that. I hope you are better soon.

Thanks. I do like swearing but I went overboard in that last post there :lol:
rotten thoughts
PaulD
Rats Rally
Posts: 376
Joined: 05 Jul 2003, 15:36

Re: Dear Santa

Post by PaulD »

well boys and girls I do have a part time job at the moment as .....

SANTA CLAUS

if you are all very good and someone shows me how to I will post the damning photographic evidence and see what I can do for you

I also have a true stroy about my first weekend as Santa which might appeal to a certain Mr . Cornwell
User avatar
ThruBeingCool
Maninwhite
Maninwhite
Posts: 10770
Joined: 04 Apr 2004, 00:48
Location: UTOPIA!
Contact:

Re: Dear Santa

Post by ThruBeingCool »

PaulD wrote:well boys and girls I do have a part time job at the moment as .....

SANTA CLAUS

if you are all very good and someone shows me how to I will post the damning photographic evidence and see what I can do for you

I also have a true stroy about my first weekend as Santa which might appeal to a certain Mr . Cornwell
I'd luv to hear your true stroy.
PaulD
Rats Rally
Posts: 376
Joined: 05 Jul 2003, 15:36

Re: Dear Santa

Post by PaulD »

sorry I meant true story, on the piss with Rudolf and the Elves last night

I am doing this part time to bring some guaranteed money in whilst business picks up and clients get around to paying me

anyway I am in the grotto usually looking down on a small child who I deal with and on to the next one. A pair of legs and mini skirt appear before me, I look up, it is a girl aged about 13, over made up and with a smirk on her face that spelt trouble (steady Hugh). Said girl was accompanied by a soft spoken Irish granny who clearly had not grasped that grandaughter was a teeny bit too old for Santa.I suspecetd the visit to my Grotto was more for Granny's benefit than mine so out of misplaced sympathy (and mindful of the queue of under 7s waiting) I decided to fast track this one, handing over present etc v quick. Just as I was about to waive said girl on Granny said to me very pointedly "Santa are you going to ask (name withheld out of kindness) what she wants for Xmas". So I asked and back came the answer for all to hear "I WANT SEX" all said with a smirk. Soft spoken granny displayed surprising brio as she said "wicked child" apologised , swung the handbag and twisted grandaughter's ear with great force.
All I could say to assembled kiddies was "there are somethings Santa cannot do". AN off colour joke did ocur to me but for reasons of job security I kept stumm.
At the end of my shift I thought "here I am, 49 years old, dressed as Father Christmas whilst an overmade up teenage girl asks me for sex for Xmas. There are Tory MPs who would pay a fortune for that"
User avatar
porkymeat
The Man They Love To Hate
Posts: 810
Joined: 12 Jul 2012, 20:16

Re: Dear Santa

Post by porkymeat »

This sort of thing is bad for your Elf.
I'll even let you drive my motorbike . . .
Burn e 77
ManinBlack
ManinBlack
Posts: 3699
Joined: 11 Feb 2011, 19:30
Location: Biggin Hill Kent

Re: Dear Santa

Post by Burn e 77 »

The EARLY Stranglers gigs kept in the record company vaults, to be mixed and released... for the forum family...
Something better change!
Post Reply