Search found 526 matches

by droopsnoot
16 Dec 2020, 10:32
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2123
Views: 206348

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Bono had a negative COVID test and was relieved that he’s only got bad catarrh.

“Well tonight thank God it’s phlegm instead of flu....” he said.
by droopsnoot
14 Dec 2020, 10:16
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Last book read
Replies: 691
Views: 98350

Re: Last book read

I've just finished "The Arctic Event" by Robert Ludlum and James Cobb, very enjoyable. Bomber crashes on a remote island in the fifties, has a deadly cargo which various groups are trying to recover.
by droopsnoot
11 Dec 2020, 10:18
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2123
Views: 206348

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

I showed the damaged remains of my luggage to my lawyer.

I said 'I want to sue the airline'

He replied 'You don't have much of a case'.
by droopsnoot
01 Dec 2020, 10:53
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2123
Views: 206348

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

I phoned up my fruit machine manufacturer.

I said, "My fruit machine isn't working".

The lady said, "Can you hold?"

I said, "No, it won't even let me nudge".
by droopsnoot
27 Nov 2020, 19:38
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2123
Views: 206348

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Just browsing on Amazon for any Black Friday special offers, and I noticed that if you buy the full set of Adam and the Ants sheet music, they'll throw in a stand, and deliver.
by droopsnoot
18 Nov 2020, 10:46
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2123
Views: 206348

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Do YOU appear in the form of water droplet?

Are YOU found on grass and windows in the morning?

If so you may be dew condensation!
by droopsnoot
17 Nov 2020, 20:05
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2123
Views: 206348

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Clown divorces often end in lengthy custardy battles.
by droopsnoot
28 Sep 2020, 09:18
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Last book read
Replies: 691
Views: 98350

Re: Last book read

"The Picasso Scam" by Stuart Pawson. I haven't read one of his for a few years, and they're getting on a bit now (so as a police story it's a bit outdated in some aspects) but it was still good.
by droopsnoot
23 Sep 2020, 18:40
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Last book read
Replies: 691
Views: 98350

Re: Last book read

"The Oracle" by Clive Cussler and Robin Burcell. Enjoyable, but perhaps not as enjoyable as his usually are.
by droopsnoot
16 Sep 2020, 09:45
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2123
Views: 206348

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

My wife and I have decided to become carpenters.

A friend asked if we had finished anything yet.

I said, "we’ve only just begun".
by droopsnoot
15 Sep 2020, 10:38
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2123
Views: 206348

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

A guy walks into a bookshop and says "I'm looking for a book by Shakespeare"

The shop assistant asks "Which one?"

The guy replies "William"
by droopsnoot
12 Sep 2020, 18:58
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2123
Views: 206348

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

A little Teddy bear needed money for honey so he started looking for a job. After a long struggle, he was eventually interviewed and landed a job on a building site. On the first day, he was kitted out...wellies, hard hat, hi vis waistcoat and a brand new pick and shovel. And he was given a locker i...