Search found 468 matches

by droopsnoot
18 Feb 2020, 19:24
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2021
Views: 177399

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Just turned down a job I was offered in the Middle East.

They tried to make me go to Riyadh but I said no, no , no.
by droopsnoot
17 Feb 2020, 10:49
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2021
Views: 177399

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

I'm guessing there were some more posts that have since been removed. If it were just about the earlier one, I'd have thought that would have been removed too - it would otherwise seem strange that it would sit there for a few days, then someone would notice it, comment on it and the member be block...
by droopsnoot
31 Jan 2020, 10:57
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2021
Views: 177399

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Two conjoined twins walk into an airport bar in the USA and one of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two beers please." The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. "So, where are you boys h...
by droopsnoot
30 Jan 2020, 12:34
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2021
Views: 177399

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

In the middle of winter, a farmer goes out on the hillside to a remote field and finds that all his cows are frozen solid. He doesn't know what to do, so he gets down on his knees, closes his eyes and prays for a solution. When he opens his eyes, a little old lady stands in front of him. She waves h...
by droopsnoot
26 Jan 2020, 20:02
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2021
Views: 177399

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Dave the Scouser is touring the USA. Along the way, he stops off at a remote bar in the Nevada desert and chats to the bartender when he spots a Red Indian in full tribal dress seated in the corner of the bar. "Blimey!" remarks Dave. "Who's he?" "Gee, that's the memory man," replies the bartender. "...
by droopsnoot
22 Jan 2020, 11:09
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2021
Views: 177399

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

I had two policemen at the front door earlier.

One said "It's about your wife, sir. I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus"

I said "I know but she's great with the kids"
by droopsnoot
30 Dec 2019, 11:47
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2021
Views: 177399

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

I’ve just offered my elderly neighbour £10 to have a go on her stairlift.

I think she is going to take me up on it.
by droopsnoot
28 Dec 2019, 19:55
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2021
Views: 177399

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Met up with a good friend over the weekend, and we were reminiscing about family and good times in the past. "I'll never forget" I said, "when you came rushing out into the hallway that night 12 years ago. 'It's a boy, it's a boy' you were shouting. What a night!". "Yes" he replied, "I've not been b...
by droopsnoot
25 Nov 2019, 11:36
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2021
Views: 177399

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

I just met the manager of the Chinese restaurant where Toyah Willcox eats.

It's a Mr Wei.
by droopsnoot
22 Nov 2019, 10:29
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Randy Andy leave him alone.
Replies: 8
Views: 617

Re: Randy Andy leave him alone.

Makes you think of what people like David Icke have always been saying that its all true. Genuinely, nothing at all that I've heard in the news recently makes me think that, and I can't imagine anything will. Doesn't he say the royal family are shape-shifting lizards, or some such nonsense? And one...
by droopsnoot
03 Nov 2019, 19:19
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2021
Views: 177399

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

I spent the afternoon at my wife's grave.

She still thinks it's going to be a fishpond.
by droopsnoot
24 Oct 2019, 18:21
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 2021
Views: 177399

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

The Liverpool manager has resigned and is taking his family back to Germany.

Yes, the Klopps go back this weekend.