Search found 432 matches

by droopsnoot
01 Mar 2019, 18:17
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 1919
Views: 122138

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

I used to go out with a girl who had a lazy eye.

Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
by droopsnoot
07 Feb 2019, 20:11
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 1919
Views: 122138

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

An investigator.
by droopsnoot
06 Dec 2018, 11:39
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 1919
Views: 122138

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

I said to my mate "I bought my dog a little coat with writing on the back".

He replied "That's nice, what did it say?"

I said "Nothing, he's a dog."
by droopsnoot
05 Dec 2018, 11:51
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 1919
Views: 122138

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Q. Why is Toblerone triangular?

A. So it fits in the box.
by droopsnoot
01 Dec 2018, 20:06
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 1919
Views: 122138

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

I phoned up my fruit machine manufacturer.

I said, "My fruit machine isn't working".

The lady said, "Can you hold?"

I said, "No, it won't even let me nudge".
by droopsnoot
08 Nov 2018, 11:59
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 1919
Views: 122138

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

My mate went to the zoo and saw a baguette in one of the cages. He asked the zoo keeper what was going on and the keeper replied "It's bread in captivity".
by droopsnoot
12 Oct 2018, 10:44
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 1919
Views: 122138

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

What do you call a Frenchman in sandals?

Philippe Flop
by droopsnoot
09 Oct 2018, 10:37
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 1919
Views: 122138

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

They told me I would never be good at poetry because of my dyslexia.

I've had the last laugh though. So far, I’ve made three jugs and a vase....
by droopsnoot
17 Sep 2018, 10:40
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 1919
Views: 122138

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

A woman walks into a Newcastle hairdresser's and asks "Can I have a perm please?"

"Aye, nee problem pet" says the hairdresser. "Ah wandered lernley as a clood....."
by droopsnoot
30 Aug 2018, 10:32
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 1919
Views: 122138

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

My girlfriend was dating a circus clown before we met. I have some pretty big shoes to fill.
by droopsnoot
22 Aug 2018, 10:21
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: Crap Joke No.83840370
Replies: 1919
Views: 122138

Re: Crap Joke No.83840370

Homer wrote:
08 Aug 2018, 20:47
I hear Sinead 'O' Conner is doing Barry Chuckles remembrance service.

They've chosen 'Nothin Compares, To Me ..... To You' :grin:
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Capture.JPG (73.25 KiB) Viewed 1264 times
by droopsnoot
16 Aug 2018, 11:04
Forum: General Other stuff
Topic: An example of how the Daily Mail lies
Replies: 12
Views: 1991

Re: An example of how the Daily Mail lies

Is the first post an example of how they "lie" as such, or is it just an example of incredibly poor journalism and even worse fact-checking? Have they sacrificed the latter in the race to be first with the news? I just wonder whether it's reasonable to say that someone actually say down and decided ...